101 Things I've Never Done
by PropernameSurname
Summary: I’m dreaming again. I know I am, but I can’t do a thing about it...'Chapter 16 up. Rating changed to T because the story is becoming slightly heavy in parts.
1. Prologue

Marie's got this new plan.

She calls it "Operation 101 Things Jason Bourne Has Never Done."

The "operation" is a dig to Treadstone, I suppose.

She likes to do that. Insult Treadstone, I mean.

I guess I should appreciate it. She hates them because of what they did to me, and I should be thankful for that.

She loves me.

And I love her, more than anything in the world. The problem is that I get the feeling Treadstone is not entirely to blame for who I am.

But the point is, in a valiant attempt to make me more…_normal_, Marie has evidently made up her mind to do 1 thing I've never done (or don't remember doing) each day.

And when Marie gets her mind set on something, she follows through with it.

She told me to make a list today. Of _101_ things I've never done, yes. I didn't even _know_ there were that many things I hadn't done.

Evidently there are.

She actually sat there, keeping watch from across the table, until I finished.

There was (_is_) no escaping it.

She says it'll be fun.

She could be right.

I'm not entirely sure.

But if it _doesn't _make me more normal, or more fun, or less creepy and mechanical, at least it will make Marie happy.

God knows she's given up enough for _me_.

Hell, I'd do a _thousand_ and one things for Marie.

But lets not give her any ideas…


	2. Thing Number 1: Eating Chocolate

Thing Number 1: Eating Chocolate

Quite surprising, actually...

I never even _realized_ I was deprived of chocolate.

Marie nearly fainted when she saw that on my list.

She wasted no time in moving it up to number 1.

She came home today with about fifty bars of chocolate.

I kid you not.

_Fifty_!

I haven't the slightest idea where she got it all. She must have ransacked the poor little grocery store. Now no one else will have any until the owner orders more.

Marie doesn't care, though. It's a sacrifice that had to be made for the good of "Operation 101 Things Jason Bourne Has Never Done."

I really should have given her something else to do.

But she's too far-gone _now _for anything to be done about it.

So I ate chocolate.

I swear, I'm going to have to run across _India_ to work off the calories if she ever brings it near me again.

I guess the easiest way to explain my revelation is to recount this afternoon's events…

_She took me by the hand, the tan paper bag that contained her precious cargo balancing carefully on her hip, and led me to the kitchen, sitting me down in a chair with an almost overbearing air of patience._

_I stared, mildly interested, at the mound of chocolate Marie poured from the bag onto the gleaming tabletop. As I watched, she snatched a bar from the mound, holding it near her shoulder and assuming a posture which suggested the task I was about to undertake would be the most monumental moment of my life._

_"Isn't this a little dramatic?" I smiled, reaching for the chocolate. "It's only candy…"_

_She wrapped her fingers around my wrist, stopping me. "That," she raised an eyebrow, "is not true. This-"Marie whacked the top of my head with the bar of candy for emphasis, "-has gotten thousands of people all over the world through millions of bad days. It is quite possibly the most important substance you will ever know." She paused, unable to keep herself from breaking her act of solemnity. "Plus it's damn delicious."_

_ "Even more delicious than that wonderful colloidal matter which results from your mixing astonishing amounts of melted butter, flour, and left-over chicken?"_

_She grinned at that, all seriousness lost without hope of return. "Yes, Jason, even more delicious than that."_

_She peeled open the wrapper, snapping off a row of three squares and placing it in my still captive hand. "See for yourself."_

_I paused, licked the offending substance tentatively, and looked up at Marie uncertainly. "What if I'm allergic to it?"_

_"What, you didn't have a list of allergies in your hip next to the bank account number?"_

_I glared at her._

_She merely laughed. (I swear, I will never be able to intimidate her.) "Then I'll take you to the hospital." She was clearly amused by the prospect of the formidable Jason Bourne being brought to his knees by chocolate. "Look, nothing's going to happen. Trust me."_

_I regarded the candy in my hand wearily for another second before sighing and shrugging my shoulders. "Oh, what the hey. What's the worst that could happen? But if I stop breathing you'd better at least _**try**_ to save my life. Okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_"Good. Well, here goes nothing…" I took a breath and popped the segment of chocolate into my mouth._

_I bit it in half._

_I bit the halves in half._

_And then I stopped chewing._

_"What is it?" Marie ran her hand through my short hair, bending down with a trace of concern visible in her brown eyes._

_"It's _**good**!_" I stated somewhat unintelligibly around the chocolate inhibiting my speech. "It's _**really** _good!" I laughed and Marie wrapped her arms around my shoulders, leaning over the back of my chair._

_"See?! What did I tell you?"_

_I swallowed the chocolate, somewhat reluctant to see it go. "I guess you were right."_

_"You _**guess**_?"_

_"Okay, okay, you _**were** _right."_

_"I appreciate that."_

_"I'm sure you do. Now give me the rest of that." I indicated the candy still clutched in her hand._

_She kissed the back of my neck, straightening and pulling away. "Maybe later."_

_"What?" I blinked, feeling betrayed._

_"If you eat it all now, you'll get sick. Besides, dinner is in an hour."_

_"What?" The excess of glucose I had just ingested was having an adverse affect on my ability to move past that one word._

_She swept the chocolate on the table back into its bag, placing it in the cupboard above the stove. "You want the rest of this?" She held up the candy in question._

_"Yes."_

_"Set the table and you'll get it." The smile that accompanied this blow was sweeter than I could have fathomed._

And that's how Marie introduced me to the most addicting substance in the world _and_ got me wrapped around her finger in one mere, fateful afternoon…

--x--

_A/N: So, anyone like? If so, I'll keep going. I've got 100 more chapters, sooo...oh, goodness. Let me know if anyone thinks they'll be able to stand 101 of these! The idea is to update once every one or two days; I'll see how it goes. XD Farewell for now!_


	3. Thing Number 2: Planting A Tree

Thing Number 2: Planting a Tree _(A/N: In honor of Earth Day, you see XD...)_

_She tossed me a shovel, sweeping her arm in an arc towards the chalk circle she had drawn on the semi-grassy patch that she referred to as our front yard._

_"Dig."_

_"You have to be kidding me."_

_"Nope. You agreed to do this, didn't you?"_

_"I didn't sign up for yard __work."_

_"You've never done this, trust me."_

_"I've dug holes before."_

_"That's only the first part. It gets better."_

_"Oh, no. How many parts are__ there?"_

_"You'll see. Just dig! I'll even help you."_

_ "How extremely generous."_

_"You know it," she laughed, tossing a shovel-full of dirt at me._

_"Hey!" I brushed the grass and dirt from my t-shirt and retaliated._

_From that point on more of the dirt ended up on us than the designated area for dumping it off, but it was definitely worth it._

_Marie was just glad the hole got dug._

_--x--_

_"There," I heaved a sigh, brushing dirt and sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. "Happy now? You have your wish."_

_Marie smiled innocently. I instantly knew something was up._

_"Oh, gosh, what now?"_

_"Just follow me." She took my hand to lead me once more._

_"Where are we going?" There was more dread in my voice than curiosity._

_"You'll see. Just be patient."_

_"I'm an assassin! I typically don't have__ to be patient!"_

_She shot me a glance. It was a shaky subject between the two of us._

_"I'm sorry. I just cannot fathom what it is my life has been missing that I can do with a three foot hole in the ground."_

_She stopped abruptly, where one of our neighbors' yards met the road. "This!"_

_I stared._

_There lay a young (but heavy, I tell you) sapling, roughly 5 feet tall and still humorously thin. It had been carefully removed from the earth and was looking rather melancholy, abandoned by the side of the road._

_"This? This is what I spent half an hour of solid digging for?"_

_Marie grinned. "Yep! Isn't it great?"_

_"It's a…tree__!"_

_"Yeah. You have a problem with trees?"_

_"No! I just-a tree__, and…half an hour, Marie!"_

_She mock glared at me. "Don't be selfish. This tree's brethren were sacrificed in order to make your notebook! You **owe** it. Besides, what better day to pay off your debt than Earth Day?"_

_"This isn't even the kind of tree they make paper from!" I paused, realizing. "It's Earth Day today?"_

_"Right-o."_

_"Oh." I gazed once more at the pathetic tree lying silently at my feet. It was like it was taunting me. And God did it ever look thirsty… "Okay."_

_Marie laughed. "That was all it took?"_

_"Evidently," I smiled, bending down and hauling the tree over one shoulder. "My gosh! This thing is twice as heavy as it looks!"_

_"Appearances are deceiving. You don't look like a government weapon."_

_"And you don't look like a pain in the neck…"_

_Marie brushed off the insult with a grin. "Case and point."_

_"How do you know these people don't want this? Maybe they're just waiting to plant it."_

_"They don't want it."_

_"How can you be sure?"_

_"I asked them."_

_"What?"_

_"Yeah. People don't bite, you know, Jason. The guy who lives here said his wife made him get rid of the tree before it got too old because she didn't want it to block the sun from the house."_

_"Block the sun? In Goa__?" I shook my head. "Oh, well. Looks like two men have suffered on this thing's account."_

_"I wouldn't call this suffering, Jason."_

_"Point taken."_

_"Come on. Let's get that poor tree in the ground."_

_"Why do I__ have to carry it?"_

_"Because you're stronger than I am. Besides, this is__ for you."_

_"Yeah," I muttered under my breath, starting down the road behind her, "for **me**__…"_

_--x--_

_I dropped the tree carefully into the hole, pushing the leftover dirt (that wasn't caked on Marie or me) around its delicate roots._

_"Can I have the hose?" I straightened up, glancing back over my shoulder at Marie, who bent down to turn it on before taking a step towards me._

_What neither of us saw until too late was the loop that the hose had made across her path. She yelped in surprise as snagged her sandaled foot, and she would have fallen flat on her face if I hadn't raced forward to catch her._

_Had the hose been off, and had I seen the slickness of the grass I was about to step on, it would have been a valiant rescue. Unfortunately I wasn't that lucky._

_I leapt forward._

_Marie fell into me._

_My sneaker lost its purchase on the ground and I landed hard on my back, Marie on top of me._

_Needless to say we were both soaked._

_Marie took one look at me and burst out laughing._

_"You look so ridiculous!" She rolled off of me, trying in vain to shut off the hose's water supply, but she was laughing so hard that she didn't have the strength to turn the rusty old knob._

_I pushed her hand away, doing it myself. "It's not that funny! You look the same as I__ do!" I grinned._

_"Yeah, but-" she gasped, trying to suppress her giggling, "I can't **see** __me!" She managed to control herself, but when she glanced back at me she broke down helplessly. "You're sooo wet!"_

_"Well, if you'll remember," I couldn't help laughing myself, "it's your fault! This was supposed to be for the tree, not us__! So much for conservation…"_

_"Oh, be quiet." Marie brushed soaked strands of her hair out of her eyes, grinning. "I managed to fit three__ things you've never done in today: planting a tree, having a dirt war, and staging a water war! What more could you ask for?"_

_"Yeah," I laughed quietly, dusting myself off and offering my hand to Marie, who was still sprawled on the grass. "What else?"_

The little tree finally got water, much to its relief, and I think I'm going to sleep better tonight than I ever have before. It took a solid fifteen minutes of scrubbing to get all the dirt off of me, I swear, but we had so much fun with the _tree_ that now Marie wants to plant _flowers_ to keep it company. I told her we'd have to see…


	4. Thing Number 3: Cell Phones

Oh, ummm, disclaimer because I forgot: This goes to Tony Gilroy, I guess, because he wrote the screenplay for Supremacy. But then, Matt Damon actually _played_ Bourne on camera…and of course there's the ever-present fact that Ludlum invented Bourne in the _first_ place…oh, Jeeze…It's just not mine, understand?

Thing Number 3: Talking On A Cell Phone With Someone Who's In The Next Room

(_A/N: Come on, people, we've all done it…)_

I was curious to see how Marie would top yesterday's tree planting fiasco.

As it were, she didn't even try.

She wasn't feeling very creative today, evidently.

She must be sick or something.

Marie's _always_ creative.

Sometimes even a little _too_ creative…

_"Jason!"_

_I sighed, shutting off the water and dropping the hose in a lazy coil next to a terribly unmanicured hedge. Marie's prize tree had brightened significantly since the day before, and it was now my duty to ensure that it was kept from shriveling up and dying. I shot it a smoldering glance before straightening and sticking my head in through the open door. "What is it?"_

_"Come here." Marie appeared in the hall in front of me, a small object in her left hand, reaching out her right to me._

_My eyes moved from her face to the outstretched hand and back. "I don't know. Last time you took me by the hand you condemned me to an hour of hard labor."_

_She scowled, her eyes lighting up contradictorily. "Oh, be quiet. It wasn't that bad. I know you really love that tree, you're just denying it."_

_"Uh-huh. Of _**course** _I do. Just promise me there's no dirt involved here."_

_Marie couldn't help but laugh at my reluctance. (She'd laugh at _anything_ I did). "I promise! Stop worrying so much!"_

_"How can I? At this point _**Treadstone** _is less of a threat that you!"_

_"You big baby." She grabbed my hand, pulling me into the hall and then to the bedroom. She handed me the object, shoving me towards the bed. "Sit."_

_I ignored her order, examining the slick item in my hand. "A cell phone?" Her plan was thus far ambiguous._

_"Just sit, okay?"_

_I sat._

_"Thank you. Now stay here." Marie turned on her heel and slipped from the room before I realized what was going on, the door clicking loudly behind her._

_I blinked._

_Another second passed before I was up on my feet. I crossed to the door and pulled it open. "Marie?" I peeked around the corner. "What on earth is going on?"_

_She was sitting in her favorite chair by the window, but when she saw me she frowned and rose, steering my by the shoulders back to the bed._

_"Sit! And _**stay**_ this time, will you? You're awfully insubordinate for having been in the military."_

_"Okay, okay. I get it. But this doesn't make any sense!"_

_"Of course it doesn't. You've never done it before, remember?" She laughed, shutting the door behind her for the second time that minute._

_I glowered at the space she had last occupied, but I obeyed her bewildering command, staying put with the cell phone abandoned on the bed beside me._

_I jumped half a foot when it abruptly commenced ringing a minute later. I picked it up, more confused than ever. "H-hello?"_

_"Hi. You stayed this time. I would give you a doggie treat, but I'm guessing you wouldn't appreciate that too much…"_

_"Marie?! What are you _**doing**_?! You're in the next _**room**_ for goodness sakes; why didn't you just come in here if you wanted to tell me something?"_

_"That would have defeated the purpose!"_

_"_**What**_?!"_

_"_**This **_is the thing you've never done, smart one!"_

_I was caught off-guard by that. "Th-this? What is it that we're _**doing**_ exactly?"_

_"It's the famous 'talk to someone in the next room over on the phone.' Everyone's done it. I figured you should get to."_

_"But-but what would possibly compel someone to do this?!"_

_"Hey, beats me. What would compel someone to have 6 different passports made for them?"_

_"True…"_

_"See?" She laughed. "So, what do you want to talk about?"_

_"What do you mean? Don't you have something to say?"_

_"Of course not! That's half of it-you have to lack a purpose for the call."_

_"Okay__**, **_**now**_ this is getting too ridiculous. Why even _**call**_ if you don't have a reason?" 21__st__ century society was odder than I had thought. It's amazing what one misses when one is shot, thrown off a boat, and develops amnesia. I realized "Operation 101 Things Jason Bourne Has Never Done" might be beneficial to me after all._

_"Because it's fun," was the simple and cheerful reply from the other end of the line. "Oh, that's right! I almost forgot. How's Alfonce doing?"_

_"Are you all right, Marie? Do you have heat stroke, or something?"_

_"What?"_

_"Who the _**heck**_ is 'Alfonce'? And what kind of name is that?"_

_Marie laughed. "I guess I neglected to tell you-Alfonce is the name I gave to our tree. I think it suits it."_

_"You've _**named**_ it now? What if it dies?"_

_"It's your job to make sure that doesn't happen, remember?"_

_"Right, right…" I muttered. "And I'm so thrilled about that, too."_

_"Well, so how's he doing?"_

_"Alfonce is fine." The name felt strange on my tongue. The things Marie comes up with, I swear. "I gave him a nice long drink before you dragged me in here for this nonsense."_

_"Glad to hear it." If she'd caught the insult she did a good job of letting it slip._

_"What kind of tree do you think it is?"_

_"I don't know…_**he** _has really leathery leaves…maybe he's a mango tree? I think they have a lot of those around here."_

_"You may be right. But what are we going to do with mangoes?"_

_"I dunno…eat them?"_

_"You don't say."_

_"You asked." Her voice was perfectly innocent and I couldn't help but laugh._

_"Where did you get these phones?"_

_"A friend."_

_"The same person who gave you Alfonce?"_

_"No, Jason, he's not the only person I know. I have several friends, FYI."_

_"Ah."_

_"You sound rather condescending, Mr. I'm-a-recluse. At least I _**have**_ friends."_

_"I'm not a_**recluse**_**,** I just like to lay-low."_

_**"**_**Extremely **_low."_

_"Yes."_

_Marie laughed, and I could easily imagine her grinning and leaning back in the worn-out chair as she had done so many times before. "You're a piece of work, Jason, you know that?"_

_"I try to be modest."_

_"That's all I can ask for," she retorted, still chuckling._

_I was silent for a few seconds, smiling. "So, can we call today's mission a success? I'm starting to get hungry."_

_"Sure. I figure you're well enough versed in the art of 21__st__ century laziness now. Creamed chicken sound good?"_

_"Sure. And chocolate for dessert?"_

_"But of course, Jason."_

_"That's the best news I've heard all day!" I laughed, snapping the phone shut. It didn't get any better than that…_


	5. Thing Number 4: Watercolors

Thing Number 4: Watercolors

_The insistent bang of the screen door slamming shut pulled me abruptly from my nightmarish reverie. My head, which had been resting on the back of my chair, eyes shut tightly, snapped up at the sound, adrenaline tensing my muscles before the knowledge that it was merely Marie returning home soothed my anxiety._

_I suppose I was on edge because of my occupation at the time: the dreaded journal. Marie told me to write down everything I could remember about Treadstone to try and put the pieces together, but the more I grasped at the threads the farther from my reach they retreated. My body wanted something tangible to deal with, but it was powerless in the twisted game of hide-and-seek my past was playing with me. The term_ '_mind games' had never taken on a more literal meaning than in my case._

_"Jason? I'm back!"_

_I let out the breath I had held in unconsciously, allowing my head to drop back to its resting place. I wiped the beads of sweat from my brow, struggling to banish the latest broken image from my mind's eye, sounds I couldn't place and didn't want to hear echoing in my head. I groaned softly, closing my eyes again. I could feel a headache coming on._

_"Jas-!" Marie stuck her head through the door, her shout cut off mid-name. "Oh, hey. I wondered where you were." She saw my flushed cheeks, the cold sweat on my face, and instantly knew something was wrong. "What is it?"_

_I lifted my unusually heavy eyelids and glanced at her blankly. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." My voice was the harsh monotone of the killer Treadstone had created. I slumped forward in the chair, head in my hands, and moaned, realizing I'd probably never be able to escape what they'd done to me._

_ Marie was at my side in a second, her cool hands on my face, preventing me from drifting away in my anguish. "Jason?" I could hear the concern, and, to a lesser extent, the terror in her voice. She knelt in front of me, her eyes searching out mine. "What's wrong? Please, look at me."_

_I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands, shaking my head. "I'm fine; it's nothing."_

_"It's not nothing, Jason." Her voice was quiet but firm._

_I blinked slowly, reluctantly lifting my gaze to meet hers. Her dark eyes were calm on the surface, but beneath the quiet hues of brown lurked something darker, something that years of living in the cruel world had put there, something _**I**_ had put there._

_"Please tell me. If there's anything I can do…"_

_She didn't have to finish the sentence. I looked away, shaking my head almost imperceptibly. "It's just-I have this picture in my head; I can't get it to go away, and I have no idea what it has to do with me…"_

_"Was it part of Treadstone?"_

_"That's the thing! I don't _**know**_! I think it has something to do with one of my jobs, but I can't be sure, and I don't know _**how**_."_

_Marie was silent for a long minute, as if she was absorbing my words and trying to decided what to do next. She finally leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry…it'll come to you eventually, I know it will. You just have to keep trying."_

_I regarded her for a moment, then sighed. "I _**have**_ tried…I'm just so afraid I'll keep learning things I don't want to know."_

_She was silent again, rising to her feet and tilting me chin up with a finger. "Everyone makes mistakes, Jason. Humans are human. And so are 30 million dollar government projects. I don't care what Conklin says, I don't care what Treadstone made you do, and I don't care what you've _**done**_. All that matters now is what you _**do**_. I remember this quote I read once, from Maria Robinson, I think: 'nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.' What's done is done. But where you end up is entirely up to you. You have a choice, Jason. You'll be whomever you _**choose**_ to be, regardless of who you were before. Remember that. Don't let anyone take that away from you."_

_I gazed up at her, speechless. What had I ever done to deserve _**her**_, I wondered vaguely._

_Marie smiled, obviously sick of the tension in the room, and produced a bag from behind her back._

_"Oh, no…" the corners of my mouth curled up in a half-smile. "What is _**that**_?"_

_"This," Marie carefully closed the notebook, mindful not to look at the pages and invade my privacy, and moved it aside, "is today's 'thing 'o' the day.'"_

_I hung my head, laughing. "And what would that be, exactly?"_

_She dropped the bag on the table, lifting out of it a set of watercolor paints and several brushes. "Voila! Painting! I figured Jason Bourne should get in touch with his artistic side."_

_I leaned back in my chair, flinching. "Artistic?" I grinned. "I don't think I'm very artistic…"_

_"We'll see about that."_

_Marie cracked open the box of paints, dumping out 6 tubes of paint, all brightly colored and brand new. She set next to them a pad of watercolor paper and a plastic palette divided into 4 sections. She held out a brush and I took it reluctantly, studying it as though it were a threat._

_"We're going to be poor if you keep spending our funds like this…how much did these all cost?"_

_"Not much," Marie winked. Besides, it's all for 'Operation 101 Things Jason Bourne Has Never Done.' I'd say it's worth it."_

_I laughed, shaking my head once more. "Whatever you say…"_

_"I'll go get some water. Be right back."_

_"Okay." I stared at the paints in front of me thoughtfully before reaching out and squeezing a small dot of each onto the palette. It was hard to believe I could make any color I wanted from 6._

_"Got it." Marie plopped the water down in front of me, some of it sloshing over the lip onto the desk. She waved a hand at it absently. "It's a cruddy desk anyways…"_

_I smiled. "I guess that's a good thing, too, considering how much you care for cleanliness…"_

_Marie shot me a look. "Yeah, we're not all like you, who arranges pots according to _**size**_…a little clutter can be beneficial for the soul."_

_My smile widened. "Where'd you hear _**that**_ one?"_

_Marie rolled her eyes. "That one? That one I made up. Now, paint!"_

_I sighed, gaze fixed on the blank paper that seemed to yawn back at me. Its pureness intimidated me, and I was hesitant to mar it with my paints. Eventually the picture resurfaced, however, and instead of banging my head into the wall, which would have been my first choice under normal circumstances, I smeared my brush through the paint and poured the guilt and sticky anxiety the picture brought me onto the page before me. The colors transformed themselves gradually and became the tangible thing I had been searching for him. I still didn't have my answer, but at least, when I finally set the brush down and sagged against the chair's back, I was able to face the memory head-on instead of fighting my own mind._

_"It's great, Jason!" Marie stared at it, thoroughly surprised. "You said you weren't any good at art!"_

_"I didn't think I was…" I smiled grimly, staring along with her. A collie gazed unblinkingly back from a sun-drenched field, blue skies completing the tranquil scene._

_I'd seen the collie before._

_I'd seen the painting before._

_It had hung in the house of one of my targets._

_All I know is that it must have been painted by his son-_

_The same son I may have killed…_


	6. Thing Number 5: Walking a Dog

_A/N: Thank you sooo much to everyone who has read and reviewed! I'm so glad people seem to like this, thus far! _TealMoon_, I will definitely try to make Jason more…manly…thanks for the tip! Sorry if I've committed Bourne Blasphemy by making him sound girlish. ; D I hope you guys like this chapter. It's a little darker than others have been, but it's all part of the plan…you'll start to see more of a pattern arise, I hope. Well, this is getting pretty long, so I'll just thank everyone once more and get on with the story! Until later,_

_-PropernameSurname_

_--X--_

Thing Number 5: Walking a Dog

_I leaned back against the counter, gulping down several ounces of water before refilling my glass from the tap. As I wiped my face on the sleeve of my damp t-shirt, I glanced at the fridge._

_The collie's accusing stare held my eyes, and I struggled for what felt like the hundredth time to know its implications. The overwhelming sense of guilt I felt when I thought about that boy was depriving me of sleep, of sanity._

_I was getting snatches of memory now: the sound of the collie barking excitedly here, a glimpse of the boy's terrified face there, but conjuring up even these mere bits was so draining that I had finally opted to exhaust myself further._

_It might have seemed odd to most people, but for me, the more despairing and tired I was, the harder I always ran. I got this strange sense of euphoria from fighting against the powerful pull of the tide around my ankles or opposing a relentless wind. The more nature pushed against me, the closer to breaking my mind felt, the greater my physical ability became._

_Such had been the case that day. The only escape I had been able to find from my overpowering shame had been the more overpowering physical exhaustion. But as I stood there, staring at that blasted collie, the euphoria rapidly wore off and left me in a familiar ocean of despair._

_I turned away from the picture, from the fear and anxiety, and banged out the front door. I hadn't yet watered Alfonce, and the Goa heat had been especially unbearable lately._

_Picking up the hose, I soaked the soil that Alfonce had stretched his youthful roots through, my mind still back in the kitchen. I eventually decided he had enough water for once day and went to turn off the water, knowing drowning the poor tree in water would be just as bad as parching him._

_As I bent down however, I heard a tremendous bark resound from behind me._

_The next few seconds were a blur of action and fur. I wasn't able to put up a fight, seeing how my balance was off and my assailant had the element of surprise on his side, and at the end of it I discovered myself flat on my back with an extremely vivacious collie simultaneously smothering me and licking me all over._

_"H-help!" My cry was somewhat muffled by the dog's fur, and the thing weighted nearly as much as I did. Someone started to laugh, and I didn't have to think very hard to figure out what was going on._

_"I-I guess she likes you!"_

_I shoved the dog away, struggling to a sitting position. "What the heck is going on? You bought a _**dog**?! Are_ you trying to _**kill**_ me?"_

_Marie, still overcome with mirth, had dropped to the ground and was rolling on her back. "I-I didn't_**buy **_it you idiot! You-you should have seen your f-_**face**-" _she had exhausted her ability to articulate word\s for the time being and dissolved into another fit of laughter._

_I glared at her, the dog now sniffing Alfonce wearily, as if she thought he was going to turn into something dangerous at any moment. "I had a hard time seeing _**anything**_ as I was trampled to the ground by this monster you've acquired from one of your gosh awful friends…"_

_Marie managed to pull herself together, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes and regarding me mischievously from the ground. "You're so up-tight, Jason. Or should I say _**Bourne**_?"_

_The implication of her statement stung and my shoulders drooped as I realized that my latest demon was not only driving me to the edge of my patience, it was forcing me into someone I had thought I'd locked safely away. It was hard enough to make a new life for myself without the cold-blood of a killer coursing through my veins. The thought of becoming again what I had once been made me sick._

_Marie, noticing the monumental affect her little jab had had on me, swept across the yard and slipped her arms around me, kissing me gently. "I'm sorry, Jason. I didn't mean to hurt you." She rested her head on my shoulder, smiling. "You've just been so tense lately, so withdrawn."_

_I sighed, returning her embrace. "I know…" My voice trailed off and I closed my eyes, soaking her presence in. Marie was my light in the darkness, the force that kept me on course and on my feet. I owed my life to her, for many reasons._

_The collie's impatient barking broke into our perfect world and I opened my eyes, glaring over at it. Marie looked to, laughing softly._

_"I guess she doesn't like public shows of affection…"_

_"Yeah, well, tell her to get over it."_

_"I don't think she'd understand me!" Marie grinned, evoking a smile from me._

_"What's her name?"_

_"Charlotte."_

_"And what's the fascinating story behind her presence here?"_

_Marie chuckled, rising from the ground. "One of my dear friends had to go out away for the weekend, and Charlotte here had nowhere else to go, so I said we'd take care of her."_

_I eyed the collie nervously. "She's staying here?"_

_"Yep. And _**you**_ get to walk her in the mornings."_

_"What, first with the tree and now with a dog? Where is all my leisure time disappearing to?"_

_"You'll get over it." Marie grinned devilishly, handing me Charlotte's leash. "Now you two get going. And try not to kill each other." She winked and shoved me towards the road._

_--X--_

_Over the course of the next twenty minutes, Charlotte dragged me at ninety miles per hour, crawled along the street at .000001 miles per hour, nearly yanked my arm off after seeing a squirrel dash across the road, and, on one particularly exciting stretch of path, stopped every thirty seconds to sniff at each rock we passed._

_When I finally managed to drag her back into our yard, I leaned against the side of the house, trying Charlotte to the door handle, and stared up at the cloudless, overpoweringly bright blue sky breathlessly._

_All at once Charlotte began barking ferociously and strained vehemently against her leash. I looked around and saw a young woman hurrying past our yard with a smaller, obviously terrified dog bounding in front of her._

_I tried in vain to shut Charlotte up, but nothing worked. I felt something surface in the back of my mind, and blinked, suddenly unable to move or speak._

_The barking…_

_Charlotte's angry growls dissolved into another dog's, and Goa melted from around me as I dropped to my knees, sweat pricking my eyes, struggling against the relentless currents of my memory…_

_The dog threw itself at the gate across the doorway, snarling and snapping at me as I ignored it and kept on my way._

_There was blood on my hands, not my own._

_Fear hung in the air._

_I was indifferent to it._

_Cold, mechanical, blindly obeying orders._

_I was Jason Bourne, the assassin without a soul._

_I turned a corner, my escape from the job site within reach-_

_But I stopped, raising my gun._

_Something was wrong._

_A boy of no more than ten years blocked my path, cowering in fear._

_My index finger stiffened on the trigger-_

_But I didn't shoot._

_A voice from a far corner of my mind was screaming at me to stop, to turn around and find another way out of the apartment._

_He's not a threat, it insisted._

_Of course he's a threat, Jason Bourne countered._

_I blinked, as frozen as the child in front of me._

_He's just a _**kid**.

_The dog's barking jump-started my mind._

_It wasn't safe._

_I had to get out, get away, or I'd be discovered._

_He'll talk; he'll give me away!_

_And maybe he won't._

_Jason Bourne didn't have an answer for that._

_Someone banged heavily on the door of the house._

_My time was up._

_Heart racing with adrenaline, I shoved the gun in my jacket._

_I pushed the boy aside, heaving open the window and placing a foot on the ancient fire escape, testing its sturdiness._

_It held and I flew down it, leaving my pursuers, the boy, and that awful dog behind me…_

_The only thing the media ever knew was someone had broken in to the apartment and killed the boy's father._

_They thought it was an accident._

_They thought the boy had just gotten lucky._

_I guess he had…_

_--X--_

_"Jason? Can you hear me?"_

_I moaned, a throbbing pain screaming in my head as my eyes fluttered open._

_"Thank God you're awake! You had me worried."_

_"Marie…?" My voice was hoarse, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. "What happened?"_

_"I was about to ask you the same thing, Jason. I heard Charlotte barking and I came outside to find you collapsed on the ground. I got you inside, but you've been out of it for a good twenty minutes."_

_"Twenty-?" I tried to sit up but the pain in my head seared in protest, forcing me back down. "I remember Charlotte barking, but after that-" I broke off mid-sentence, suddenly remembering. The apartment, the collie, the boy-it all made sense now._

_I laughed quietly, shaking my head in disbelief. For days I hadn't slept at all. Now I'd be able to put my mind at ease. Thank God for Marie's things of the day. Charlotte had ended up being the answer to my prayers._

_"Jason? What is it?"_

_"I didn't kill him, Marie…" I grinned, the pain in my head dissolving rapidly. "I didn't kill him…"_

_She stared at me for a second, confused. I could tell she wanted to ask what I was talking about, but her face instead softened into a smile. "I'm glad, Jason…"_

_Charlotte burst into the room, leaping onto the bed and licking my face joyfully as I struggled to get away._

_"Get this dog _**off **_me!" I laughed, gasping for air._

_She grinned, her concern eased. "Hey, don't talk to _**me**_! You're going to have to take _**that **_up with Charlotte…"_


	7. Thing Number 6: Watching a Sunrise

Thing Number 6: Watching a Sunrise

I had another nightmare.

It wasn't about my past, this time.

It was pathetic, really.

But in the middle of the night it was unnerving regardless.

I dreamed that somehow there were a million Charlottes all over the house, and all trying to lick me.

It sounds stupid, I know, but whenever I'd race out of one room and into another, there'd be a whole new Charlotte staring me down.

I'd say I'm afraid of dogs, but I doubt that's true.

I guess I'm just overtired.

Maybe I'm more insane than I originally thought…

--X--

"_Jason! Wake up!"_

_I groaned, mumbling something I could only pray was coherent, and rolled away from the offending voice._

_The voice wasn't going to be defeated that easily, however. It grew louder, pushed its way into my ear, defeating all hope of an escape back to sleep._

"_Come on, sleeping beauty, it's time to get up!"_

_I was silent for a moment, my ability to process information somewhat mired by drowsiness. I eventually managed to remember what speech was and that I was able to use it. "Do I have to?" My voice was soft, reluctant, a reminder to the one invading my sleep that it wasn't appreciated._

_The subsequent laugh brought me farther into the realm of consciousness, enough for me to place the interloping voice as Marie's. She kissed my shoulder, leaning over me. "Most certainly."_

_I cracked one eye, stole a glance at the room and the clock next to the bed. 6:08 AM._

_I closed my eyes once more. "You're insane, Marie."_

"_I am not! It's six in the morning! That's not so early!"_

"_It is when you didn't sleep half the night. Besides, it's not like we've got anything to _**do**_, so why get up early?"_

"_That's where you're wrong…" I could hear the devilish smile in her voice without even looking._

"_Oh, gosh…" I pried my eyelids apart, reluctant to shake the sleep off them entirely, and stared up at her. "Do I even want to know what you mean by that?"_

_She laughed, crossing the room to the dresser. "Probably not…" She threw a t-shirt and shorts at me. "Here, put these on."_

_I remained silent but obeyed, sitting at the foot of the bed and stroking the still asleep Charlotte when I had finished. "Are you planning to tell me what this is all about?"_

"_You'll see."_

"_Not _**that**_ again! You're so ambiguous…"_

"_I believe _**you**_ hold the record in that area, my darling…"_

_I grinned. "At least I never said, 'I don't know who I am, but don't worry, we'll see.'"_

"_True." She stroked my hair as I had stroked Charlotte's, smiling softly and holding out her other hand. "Come on."_

_I sighed, slipped my hand in hers._

_Resistance was futile…_

_--X--_

Beautiful is the only way I can describe the other world Marie showed me.

I would try for something more profound, something worthier of the sight I saw this morning at 6:12, but I don't think any words from my mouth could do it justice.

I don't think any words created by humankind could do it justice...

"_Sit."_

_I sat, blinking emptily at the ocean in front of us. I was doing an awful lot of order following lately. Uncharacteristically, but willingly, nonetheless._

_Marie settled herself beside me, fingers intertwined with mine, head on my shoulder._

"_What exactly am I looking for?" There was anticipation in my voice, curiosity. Marie was beginning to get the better of me. Marie could get the better of any man on earth._

"_Just be patient. You'll get your answer in-" She glanced at my watch, "-two minutes."_

_I sighed, stealing a look at her. She was gazing out at the drowsy waters, her face the epitome of innocence and peace._

_It was that same innocence and peace, that same passion for life that had salvaged _**my**_ life, my future._

_I had been thrown into a world of chaos and hatred, of racing towards nothings and living in constant fear or unknowns against my will, and without a link to clarity, to safety. Without roots in the past, and subsequent paths to the future._

_Marie was my past, my future. She filled in the blanks and soothed away the uncertainties._

_Sitting there with her, staring out at gray waters and misty skies, I felt the anxiety ease from my mind. There wasn't anywhere I'd rather be, anything I wouldn't give up to stay with her, protect her. To me, she was life itself. And I loved her more than anything._

_Gradually I was becoming aware of changes on the horizon, around us. The sky was growing lighter by the second, and as I looked on streaks of pink and red seeped through the originally colorless clouds, using the sky and ocean as a sort of canvas to display their brilliance._

_The sun climbed laboriously through the sky, mostly blocked by clouds, but then, suddenly, breathtakingly, its light broke through and a million tiny, twinkling stars appeared at the crest of each wave bobbing its way towards shore._

_I was riveted. It seemed to me that the sky and the ocean never ended, never separated. Water and air were one, existing in perfect harmony._

_Flawless beauty._

_Marie was observing my reaction silently, the awe I felt reflected in her eyes. "Like it?"_

"**Like**_ it?" I grinned, meeting her gaze. "Are you _**kidding**_? It's amazing!"_

"_Worth getting up at 6 am for?" She cocked her eyebrow, teasing and reprimanding me simultaneously._

_I turned my attention back to the blazing colors that seemed to envelop the entire world in their wonder. "Most certainly…"_

_(A/N: I have never actually seen a sunrise, so if anyone happens to be a sunrise specialist and notices fantastically exaggerated mistakes, chalk it up to inexperience. I knew the exact _**time**_ for sunrise in Goa today, what more can you ask? Hope you all enjoyed it regardless!)_


	8. Thing Number 7: Flower Arranging

_(A/N: Hey there! Sorry this chapter is a little short. I suppose that balances out the extraordinarily long ones, though, and c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas? Well, hope you all enjoy it!)_

Thing Number 7: Flower Arranging

As it turns out, Marie's friend got called to stay on wherever she was for a week more, and Marie, being Marie, assured her buddy that of _course_ we wouldn't mind keeping Charlotte with us until she got back.

The house is cramped enough without a 90 pound dog lazing about. But Marie doesn't think of these things. She _never_ thinks about them.

I doubt if I'll ever understand how her mind works…

I've got lots of time to think about that, though, when I walk Charlotte.

Or rather when Charlotte drags me down the road.

It's all the same to _her_…

--X--

"_Ta dah!" The exclamation was accompanied by the crash of a bag being dumped onto our kitchen table._

"_What are those?"_

_Marie glared at me, eyebrow raised. "They're flowers; are you blind or something?"_

"_I suppose I should rephrase the question: What are we _**doing**_ with those?"_

_Marie's look softened and she shook her head, helplessly shrugging her shoulders. She flopped into the chair across the table from me. "Have you no imagination?"_

_I considered her blankly. "In all seriousness, no."_

_She threw her head back and laughed until I worried she might fall out of her chair or suffocate, or both. Charlotte came trotting through the kitchen to see what was going on, and stared at Marie for a full minute before coming to the conclusion that she had lost her mind and meandering over to the window to curl up in a sunbeam._

_Gradually Marie got a hold of herself, shooting me a glance and stifling another bout of laughter. "Of c-course! W-what was I th-thinking?" She pressed her lips together and dropped her forehead to the table, her shoulders shaking with silent mirth._

_I narrowed my eyes. "It's really not that funny…"_

_Marie glanced up at me, then sat back in her chair once more, grinning. "It is."_

_I sighed. "So what exactly _**are**_ we doing?"_

"_Flower arranging!" Marie stretched out her arms, motioning to the flowers on the table with an expectant smile on her face._

_I blinked. "Honestly?"_

_She relaxed her pose, resting her chin on a fist. "Yes. Glad to hear you're so excited, dear…"_

_I blinked again, this time at the flowers sprawled on the table. "Is that really a good idea?"_

"_Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?"_

"_I don't know…" I shrugged. "Just the fact that creativity has never really been my strong suit." I paused. "Regarding the arts, that is…I can be quite creative under the correct circumstances."_

_Marie shook her head at me, smiling. "Yes, well, this should be right up your alley. There are even _**rules**_ to follow!"_

"_I know...It dates back to the fourteenth century in Japan, correct? The flowers are supposed to symbolize…earth, water, and sky, with the arrangements focusing on harmony, color, rhythm, and 'elegantly simple design.'"_

_It was Marie's turn to stare blankly at me. "Okay, now you're just getting scary."_

_I smiled. "I haven't even started on Wabi Sabi yet…"_

_She held up her hands, eyes wide. "Enough! You have an unnervingly complete knowledge of flower arrangement, I get it!" Marie shook her head once more. "What, are you some kind of specialist on Asian cultures now?"_

_I could only laugh._

_Marie laughed with me, picking up a rose and poking it unceremoniously into a vase. "Well, despite your enormous knowledge of this, have you ever actually_ **done** _it?"_

_I fingered an iris, considering. "I can't say that I have…"_

_"Good." Marie grinned innocently, pushing the vase towards me. "Then get to work!"_

_I _**really**_ should have seen that coming…_


	9. Thing Number 8: Listening to the Rain

(A/N: Posh…this one gets corny, I'm putting that warning out there right now. Hopefully no one finds it unendurable…I figure Jason Bourne is allowed to be corny every once in a blue moon. :) Enjoy! ((If at all possible, that is…)))

Thing Number 8: Listening to the Rain

_I placed a wet foot cautiously on the slick tile floor, shaking droplets of water from my dark, cropped hair and reaching for a towel to dry myself off._

_Typically I didn't take showers in the middle of the day, but after I came home from my run soaked to the bone and covered in sand, Marie insisted._

_I couldn't blame her, really. The only thing worse than a trained assassin is a dripping wet, sand-covered assassin. So I took a shower._

_The downpour is what did it. One second I was running along the shoreline, the clouds hanging contentedly in the sky, and the next I was being assaulted by drops of water that slid like ice along my flushed skin, taking the sweat I'd worked up with them. Not entirely unpleasant, no. Actually it was a magnificent feeling, one I love._

_The problem existed in the simple fact that water acts as glue when sand is added into the equation. It started with my sneakers, which quickly turned from black to tan, and spread quickly to my lower legs. When I reached up to wipe the water from my eyes, I noticed my hand, too, had sand on it._

_Now, I understand that sand gets kicked up when one runs on it, but my _**hand**_? I'm not even sure it's physically possible to kick sand that high. At any rate, however it happened, I quickly became consumed by the sand, which was contending with the rain for a place on my skin and clothes._

_Needless to say, the state Marie glanced up from her book to find me in when I returned home nearly sent her into hysterics. My t-shirt and sneakers were back out the door onto the front porch before I could speak a word, and I was shoved unceremoniously through the bathroom doorframe._

_I managed to grasp the wooden frame with one hand, preventing my momentum from carrying me into the sink, and poked my head out the opening Marie had been about to close off with the door._

"_Marie!" I was panting, still beat tired from my run. "Wh-what are you _**doing**_?!"_

"_Wash yourself!" Marie glared at me. "You're covered in sand!"_

"_It's lovely to see you, too, Marie," I grinned, leaning my weight on the doorframe._

_She raised her deep brown eyes to mine, posture confident and almost defiant. "I'll be glad to see _**you**_," her voice was teasing, and a smile lurked beneath her stern exterior, "but right now all I see is sand!" With that, she yanked the door to the bathroom shut (giving me barely enough time to pull my fingers out of the way) and left me (and the sand) alone._

_--X--_

"_It's still coming down, huh?"_

_Marie glanced up as I pulled a clean, dry shirt over my head, settling onto our worn couch next to her._

"_Yeah." She gazed out the open window for a few seconds before returning her attention to me and smiling. "It shouldn't be this rainy yet. The monsoon season starts in June, and it's only May…"_

_I countered her smile with a lopsided one of my own. "Maybe the weather caught wind of your mood and decided to follow suit."_

_Marie scowled, shaking her head at the ceiling in mock disgust. "You think you're _**sooo **_funny, don't you?"_

_"Some people appreciate it more than others…"I grinned, leaning back, and put my arm around her waist, pulling her to me._

_She sighed contentedly, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I like you better this way…" she murmured thoughtfully._

"_How? Quiet and loving?"_

_She shook her head. "Clean."_

_I couldn't help it-I burst out laughing. _

_Marie kissed my neck, just below my ear, and slipped her arms around me. "You laugh," she breathed, "but you know it's true."_

_I tightened my grip around her, my free hand tracing her jaw as my lips met hers. "I suppose…" I chuckled softly. "But you'd take me dirty…"_

_She blushed at this, her head returning to my shoulder. "You're terrible."_

"_It's a gift," I grinned, stroking her light, wavy hair._

_Silence consumed us, broken only by the lively rush of the rain._

"_This can be our thing of the day," Marie's voice startled me after the calm silence._

"_What can?"_

"_This. Have you ever listened to the rain?"_

"_I hear the rain all the time, Marie. I was just out in it half an hour ago."_

"_I know you've _**heard**_ the rain, Jason. I asked if you've ever really _**listened**_ to the rain, thought about what it's trying to tell you."_

"_What it's trying to tell me…?" I paused, staring at the droplets of water cascading down the window. I'd never really thought about _**rain**_ before. "No. I guess I haven't."_

_Marie grinned. "Then it's settled. Listening to the rain will be our 'thing of the day.'"_

_I glanced down at her suspiciously. "Didn't you have an original plan?"_

"_Of course." Marie shrugged._

"_What was it?"_

_She hesitated briefly, meeting my gaze mischievously. "Musical theater. I figured you'd go more for this."_

_I groaned, feigning horror. "Marie! Thank God it _**rained**_!"_

_Marie kissed me again, patting my shoulder reassuringly. "You would have liked musical theater, Jason. I might even have gotten you in tap shoes…"_

_I glared down at her. "It's doubtful."_

_She smiled that gosh awful smile at me, the one that could break any mustang, the same that had forced me to heed her will any number of times. "Of course, dear."_

_A sigh escaped my lips as I shook my head, grinning. "You're too much, Marie."_

"_I know; you've told me so before." She gazed out the window once more. "Now, silence. The rain has something to say and I don't want you to interrupt it."_

_I bit off my smart retort, opting to please Marie. I wasn't exactly sure what the rain was going to _**say**_, but the shower of drops blanketing everything outside was undeniably calming._

_Everything was new after it rained, I realized gradually. The air smelled fresher, cleaner, and every surface glistened in the sunlight, made beautiful by the forces of nature._

_It was pouring, leaves and branches lifted aloft by the sweeping wind. I wondered vaguely what it would feel like to float on that breeze, without a care in the world. To feel the rain on my skin and actually think I was worthy of the chances it would give me, the chances it gave everyone. Whenever it rains, the sense of a chance to start anew is present in everyone's heart; the problem exists simply in the fact that people rarely take the rain up on its offer._

_Maybe Marie was right._

_Maybe the rain _**does**_ have something to say._

_If so, it's certainly waiting patiently for people to come around and hear it._

_Who would've thought?_

_Something as simple as rain carrying such an inspiring message..._

_I guess I still have a lot to learn, but with Marie's and the rain's help, I think I might just be able to learn it._

_I certainly hope so…_


	10. Thing Number 9: Grilling

_(A/N: Hey! Sorry this took me so long to get up…I had to expand my knowledge on grilling -I'm more a stovetop person- and I've been swamped lately. Hope everyone enjoys this chapter!)_

Thing Number 9: Grilling

I must say, of all the strange exploits Marie has forced me to partake in thus far, grilling has to be my favorite.

This? _This_ I might actually use…

"_Heads up!!"_

_I lurched out of the chair in which I had been lounging, paperback dropping dejectedly to the ground as my eyes snapped open wide and my hands flew up to snatch the offending object out of the air. I blinked down at it, bewildered, adrenaline rush ebbing. "W-what?"_

_Marie threw her bag onto the couch, collapsing next to it in a fit of hilarity. "Wow! I didn't know your reflexes were _**that**_ good!"_

_"Oh, ha, ha…" I sighed, drooping back into the chair. "Why do I feel like we've been here before? What is it with you and tricking me? To think-using my superb reaction skills against me, and with this-" I glanced down at it, "this set of tongs!"_

_Marie flopped onto her stomach, grinning over an arm of the couch at me with her chin on her folded hands. "I'm keeping you sharp, that's all. It's okay-you don't have to thank me."_

_I shook my head, giving up. "What are these for, by the way?" I help up the tongs questioningly._

"_What do they look like they're for?" She raised an eyebrow as a challenge._

"_Okay, I get it Marie. But often when I'm dealing with you the simplest objects take on strange roles. So I'll ask you again-what are these for?"_

_She rolled off the couch, plucking them from my hand with a pout. "You're no fun…if you have to know I suppose it wouldn't hurt to inform you that they're here to save your masculinity."_

_I blinked, not entirely sure I had heard right. "What?"_

"_My friend-Charlotte's mum-heard about the sunrises and watercolor painting and decided that your 'manliness' had been violated-"_

"_Whoa, hold on-you told her about me? What-"_

"_Chill out, paranoia-man. She already knows I have a 'boyfriend', and she wanted to know how life was treating Charlotte, so I told her what we've been doing to fill the days. Not _**why**_ we've been doing it or what's come of it, but just enough for her to fear for you…"_

"_Oh." I leaned back in the chair. I decided I gave Marie too little credit sometimes. She'd certainly adjusted well to living with a heck of a secret day in and day out. "Okay. So where do those tongs come in?"_

_Marie rolled her eyes. "My exceedingly helpful friend suggested grilling to remedy your condition…"_

_I had to laugh at that. "Really? That's interesting…I think it's safe to say I don't remember anything about it, though."_

"_I know." She whacked me playfully on the head with the tongs, disappearing into the kitchen. "You don't remember _**anything,**_ Jason."_

_I shrugged and paused for a moment before following her to my fate. As much as I hated to admit it, she had a point…_

_--X--_

"_Hold this. Oh, and here-don't forget that. You _**need**_ that…wait, wait, _**wait**_! This, too! Goodness, Jason, you are _**awful**_ at this!"_

_The stare I affixed her with was glacial. "I apologize for my incompetence, grilling master. I didn't realize I was in the presence of an expert."_

"_Oh, look, I'm blushing now." Marie breezed over to the kitchen door, sliding it open nonchalantly, immune to my sarcasm. She glanced over her shoulder at me. "Coming?"_

_What other option did I have? "I suppose I am…" Stepping through the doorframe, I came to discover a small grill sitting expectantly next to Alfonce. Charlotte was barking at it. "Tell me that's not a permanent landscaping feature?"_

"_Of course not, Jason dear. It's only borrowed from-"_

"_That's alright-I think I've heard enough stories about your interesting friends for one day."_

"_Your loss." Marie ginned, flipping open the grill top and placing the tray of 'matter to be grilled' next to it grandly. Turning to me, she motioned dramatically at the grill. "Would you like to do the honors?"_

"_I-suppose so." Minutes ago I had been repeatedly drilled in charcoal grill lighting protocol. The only part left was to utilize my astounding order following skills and actually _**light**_ the grill. _

_I reluctantly accepted the bag of charcoal Marie held out to me, pouring enough of it to coat the bottom, then, dropping the bag to the ground, I scooped the charcoal into a cone and poured lighter fluid over it, minding to avoid my clothes. The last thing I needed was to set myself on fire…'Thing Number 10: Going to the Emergency Room' would not be fun._

_Striking the match with a flick of my wrist, I held it to the bottom of the coals until the fire caught, stepping back to blow it out when I had finished. Before long, the fire had worked its way over the coals, and most of them glowed white on the surface. Marie tossed me the tongs and I spread them out cautiously._

_Closing the lid, I flopped onto the ground beside Alfonce. A glance at his somewhat shriveled leaves revealed his discontentment with his new, extremely dehydrating yard-mate._

"_You think he could use a drink?" I patted Alfonce's trunk fondly, staring up at Marie and awaiting her answer as intently as if the tree had been a bonafide human being._

"_Sure." Marie sipped at her iced tea, which she had brought out to almost turn my ordeal with the grill into a sort of show. "I know he'll appreciate your thoughtfulness, Jason."_

_I rolled my eyes, abandoning the tongs by the side of the grill to unwrap the ragged hose from its resting place. I turned the knob for the water hard, finally hearing it yield to my force with an offended groan._

_Marie eyed me as I stepped over to Alfonce, letting the clear liquid dribble down his trunk to soak into the dusty ground beneath him. She made no move to approach me, however; the day of Alfonce's introduction to our home was still clear in her mind._

"_Look at the bright side," I turned my head to Marie without removing my eyes from the little tree, "if the grill gets out of hand we can douse it, too, this time."_

"_You're splendidly hilarious, dear…"_

_I looked at her then, grinning. "Thing is I'm serious."_

_She sipped at her drink again, eyes narrowing. "I know…"_

_--X--_

"_Aren't these steaks a tad…thin?"_

"_You're a novice, darling-it's always best to start small."_

_I shot her a sideways look. "Glad to know you have such confidence in me, Marie…"_

"_Of course, Jason." She flopped a steak onto the grill, offering me the plate._

"_Thanks." I seized the rest with my tongs, positioning them carefully and shooting Marie a chastising look._

_She shrugged it off nonchalantly. "To each his own."_

_I shook my head, staring down into the glowing coals. Eventually I crouched down by the side of the grill, lifting the corner of each steak up meticulously to survey the undersides. The grill marks were turning black-it was time to turn them._

"_You've certainly studied up." Marie's voice hinted that she was impressed, despite the fact that it was laced with sarcasm._

_I straightened, glancing back at her before re-focusing my attention on the grill. "I thought it best in order to avoid burning the house down…or singeing Alfonce," I added with a chuckle._

"_Kudos to you…"_

_Charlotte trotted over to us then, enticed by the aroma of smoke and cooking meat. She planted herself attentively at my side, staring up with her huge blue eyes from such close range that she was terribly unnerving._

_I grinned, giving in, and tore a small chunk off one of the steaks with the tongs, throwing it to Charlotte, who leapt up to seize it in her teeth and raced off to devour it safely several yards away._

"_Good Charlotte," I laughed._

_Marie replaced Charlotte at my side. "Goodness, Jason," she sighed, watching the collie's mirth. "If you keep feeding her like that, she'll get so spoiled that my friend will call up to ask what happened to her over here!"_

"_Oh, lighten up," I shoved her with my elbow, turning the last steak. "She _**never**_ gets anything other than that horrid dog food…I think I would stop eating if all you fed me was that!"_

_She wrapped her arms around my neck, balancing on her toes. "It tastes good to dogs! Besides, it's got all sorts of essential vitamins and minerals!"_

_I smiled down at her. "If it's so good, then why does she always make that disgusted face when she eats it?"_

_Marie kissed me playfully, pulling away and retreating to her iced tea. "Now you're just imagining things, darling,"_

_--X--_

"_I have to say, Jason, for having cooked all of one time since we've been together-no, don't interrupt! Macaroni and cheese doesn't count! -this came out fairly well. We even managed to keep the grounds in tact!"_

"_It's true," I admitted around a mouthful of my hard earned meal. "I was just hoping we'd be able to see the meat underneath the blackness."_

"_Well, you managed." Marie cut off a piece of her own steak. "I might even have to upgrade you to 'meal manager' once a week."_

"_Oh, I don't know…let's not get outrageous here…"_

_That alluring smile of Marie's captured my eyes when I glanced over at her. I sighed. There was no way out of it _**now**_. I chewed my steak vehemently._

"_Okay…"_


	11. Thing Number 10: Baking

_(A/N: Hey there, all! (few?) I know I have now let down my own standards by not updating in over a week, and I figure I've lost just about everyone by this point, but for those of you who are still reading, hopefully this is quality enough to make up for the delay! This one's by request. I am quite confident it was a joke, but I couldn't resist. (You should know not to joke with me, with 91 chapters on my plate.) ;D Honestly, who doesn't want to see Jason Bourne bake chocolate chip cookies in a frilly apron?…well, maybe sans the apron…but you catch my drift! (Hopefully.) I have a different request in honor of a friend from 'real life' (not to suggest this isn't real…) but it was going to take more time to write than I had to offer right now, so this is it. Dig in! (heh-cooking _p_un…:D)_

Thing Number 10: Baking

Yes, you read that right.

We've come full-circle from manliness, evidently, and here we are at _baking_.

Quite frankly, I understand less how Marie's mind works _now_ than I did when she was a complete stranger to me.

If this is her odd way of taking out her anger on me, then I suppose I really can't complain.

It is productive, after all.

It's not everyday a fight ends in chocolate chip cookies…

_I yawned, stretching my arms above my head and flipping my book shut. Glancing around the room, I realized that I had stopped reading of my own accord-no one had interrupted me for hours._

**That **_couldn't be good…_

_Now that it had occurred to me, I noticed the house was eerily quiet. Where on earth was Marie?_

_Typically she had leapt into the room and dragged me away for some crazy escapade by now. This absence of her shouts in my ear was worrisome._

_It dawned on me that I actually hadn't seen her since early that morning, after she had stormed off because I had told her it would be extremely stupid to write to her half-brother…_

_Oh. _**That**_ was it. No wonder I hadn't caught so much as a glimpse of her all day. She must have still been mad at me. But it wasn't as though she couldn't comprehend the dangers (to both ourselves_**and**_her brother) that communication would bring._

_I sighed, rolling off the couch to go and find her. Having Marie angry with me was generally unpleasant. I didn't want things to get ugly…_

_I poked my head through a doorway. Not in the kitchen. I turned a corner. Not in the living room, either. Outside, maybe? But when I shoved the screen door open, I was greeted only by Charlotte's barked warnings at a lone passerby._

_Yes, the situation was growing worse by the second. Padding back into the house in my bare feet, I glanced around. Living room, kitchen, backyard, porch, den…where else could she _**be**_?_

"_Oh!" I raced down the hall and threw myself at the bedroom door, jiggling at the knob, but it wouldn't budge._

_Locked._

"_Marie? Marie, are you in there?"_

_Silence. I leaned against the door, heaving a sigh. I should have seen that coming. I didn't understand why females sought refuge from their anxiety in their rooms. It made sense for teenagers, but it was almost as if, when they grew up, they forgot that the room wasn't entirely _**theirs**_ anymore. I, being male, typically turned to physical activity to ease my anxiety. Surprising that males and females were even part of the same _species_, considering how vastly different they were…_

_"Look, if you're listening, I just wanted to tell you-"_

"_I know, already! Just leave me _**alone**_!"_

"_-that I'm sorry." I finished my statement despite her efforts to ward me off, in the hopes that the simple apology would somehow ameliorate her current feelings toward me._

_Silence, however, again emanated from the other side of the door. I turned to reconsider my approach, but my attentive ears detected light feet moving across the carpet, and the door opened slowly to reveal Marie's face, her cheeks and eyes red, splotched in some places._

_A pang of guilt and shame gnawed at my heart; she was hurting, _**I** _had hurt her, and I hadn't so much as realized, not to mention cared. What kind of monster was I?_

"_What did you say?" Her voice was soft, almost reluctant in contrast with her previous ferocity._

"_I said I'm sorry."_

_Marie regarded me mutely for a second, then stared at the door blankly. "You don't mean that, do you? Your instinct just won't allow you to live with anything amiss. You were right and we both know it…"_

_I took her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me, and rubbed gently at the marks on her cheeks with my thumbs. "I _**do**_ mean it, Marie. It doesn't matter whether I was right or wrong about the risks-I was wrong in being so insensitive and telling you it was a stupid idea. I'm so sorry about that. And I _**mean**_ it."_

_Her composure crumbled then and she threw her arms around me, burying her face in my shoulder. "Oh, God, Jason! I just miss him so much! And I can't bear to think that anything will happen to him because of _**me**_!"_

_The fabric of my shirt became moist with her tears and I enveloped her in an embrace of my own, not entirely sure how to soothe away her fears when I shared them myself. "Shhhh. I know. _**Trust**_ me, I know what it feels like. But worrying yourself sick over something you can't control isn't going to do any good."_

_She sighed shakily, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. She retreated to the bed, flopping down on her back dejectedly. "You're right, of course, I just…oh, I don't know. You wouldn't understand…"_

_"It hurts." I stepped from the door, crossing the room to stand above her. "You love him, you want to see him, but you're afraid your presence will hurt him. And you're afraid."_

_Her dark eyes blinked up at me, stunned. "Yeah…"_

_I leaned down, kissed her gently, running my hands through her hair. I pulled away first, resting my forehead against hers. "That day…you could have jumped out of the car, run away and never looked back, and you'd be safe with your brother right now." I paused, my eyes searching out hers. "Why didn't you?"_

_She smiled softly, her soulful brown eyes radiant. "I guess… I guess I needed you as much as you needed me." It was her turn to pause and a fleeting emotion wavered across her face. "I loved you, Jason…I still do."_

_I grinned, my eyes speaking the words I purposefully refused to voice. "What makes you think I needed you?"_

_She patted my shoulder with that devilish grin curling her lips. "You made it clear when you tossed me 10 thousand dollars bound by rubber band…" She rolled away, sitting up, and grabbed my hand to pull me from the room. "Besides, who else would have taught you how to be normal?"_

_I laughed, protesting. "I was normal!"_

"_No, dear." She threw a withering glance over her shoulder. "No you weren't…"_

_--X--_

"_Marie?"_

"_Yes, Jason?"_

"_You're still mad at me, aren't you?"_

_She grinned. "What? Of course not! Why would you say that?"_

_I brandished the measuring cup at her. "This! Look at this!"_

_She blinked innocently. "Yes? I thought you were used to the feel of cold steel in you hand."_

_My eyes narrowed. "I'm not laughing, Marie."_

_She turned away, snatching various items off of the shelves in the fridge and out of cupboards and the pantry. "I can't help it if you don't appreciate good humor." Marie dumped the pile of ingredients and odds and ends on the counter, sighing with satisfaction. "There. Now we're ready."_

_I buried my head in my arms. "You must really, really hate me…"_

_The measuring cup was snatched from my hand, placed with its brethren next to the eggs. "Indeed I do. Hatred is an imperative component of couples. It keeps things interesting."_

_I raised my face slightly, resting my chin on a fist. "Like this is going to be?"_

_She smiled sweetly. "Precisely."_

_--X--_

"_Flour?"_

"_Check."_

"_Salt?"_

"_Check."_

"_Baking soda, butter, granulated and brown sugar, eggs, vanilla, chocolate chips, unsweetened cocoa?"_

"_Check, check, check, check, check, check, check, and check." I sighed, shaking my head. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you make sure we had everything _**before**_ you dragged me into the kitchen to do this?"_

"_Of course I did. I'm not stupid."_

"_Then why-?"_

_The smile again, this time accompanied by her trademark laugh. "Because it's so much more fun this way!"_

_I glared at her. "And you say _**I'm** _not normal…"_

_She kissed me teasingly. "Did you set the oven?"_

"_375 degrees _**exactly**_, yes ma'am." I rolled my eyes._

"_Lovely." Nothing could faze Marie. She spun a large metal bowl under my nose, shoving several ingredients towards me. "Mix."_

"_How much?" I had come to the conclusion several minutes previously that submission was the best way to go. Besides Marie's extremely powerful will, the fact that I had been such a jerk earlier in the day was weighing heavily on my mind._

"_See for yourself." A printed recipe appeared before my eyes. It was placed in a Ziploc bag before being taped down securely to the counter._

"_Gosh…is there no end to your ingenuity?"_

_She grinned, but a touch of crimson shone through her fair complexion. My words were as much a compliment as they were a joke, and she realized this. "It-it's just something my grandmother taught me…"A glimmer of sadness passed over her features when she mentioned her grandmother, and my hand reflexively went to her face, stroking her cheek and neck._

"_You okay?"_

_Marie covered my hand with hers for a moment, then nodded, smiling wanly, and withdrew from my touch. "I'm fine. Really," she added as her eyes briefly met mine, flickering away again before I could read anything there._

_"Is there anything I can do?"_

_Wheels jerked to life in Marie's head, her grief for the moment banished, and amusement sparked in her chocolaty eyes. "In fact," she started, no longer avoiding my gaze, as she no longer had anything to hide, "there is." She snatched up the cup measure, pressing it into my palm once again. "Mix! And not a word about it!"_

_A sigh escaped my lips. "That wasn't a word!" I protested, as her piercing gaze bored through my impenetrable exterior. I yielded to her will, however, pointing at a transparent container with a pink lid. "Can you pass the flour?" I couldn't keep the dread out of my voice, so adverse were my feelings toward baking._

"_This? Of course." She started to hand it to me, but the lid was balanced on the rim, not completely closed, and as she brought it closer she allowed her hand to slip slightly so that enough flour spilled out to give my shirt a good dusting. "Oops!" She pressed her lips together, feigning surprise while she worked desperately to hide her laughter. "Sorry about that…"_

_I glared at her, brushing my shirt off with one hand and pulling her roughly to me with the other. She pushed her hands against my chest, trying to escape, but I wouldn't let her. When she saw it was useless, she gazed up at me with feigned shyness. "Jason, I-"_

"_Oh, no, it's too late for that!" I grinned, my eyes silencing her. "Don't apologize_ **now**_!"_

_A twinge of confusion mingled with laughter in her face, until I reached a hand for the container and she understood._

"_Jason, don't do anything you'll-!" Marie was cut off abruptly by my poring a handful of the flour over her head and she gasped in surprise._

"_Regret?" I finished her thought coolly. "Not a bit…"_

_She screwed her eyes shut instinctively, hands flying up to bat the offending substance from her hair and slap my hovering hands away. Even as she let out a sort of stunned yelp she began to laugh. "Y-you did _**NOT**_ just do that!!"_

_Laughter claimed me, as well, her flushed face and flailing hands striking me as particularly amusing. "I do believe I did, actually."_

"_Uurghh!" The sound was inarticulate-I doubted it had ever been intentioned as a word. "I am supposed to be punishing _**you**!**You're**_ not supposed to be dumping flour on _**me**!_"_

_I grinned, retreating from the range of her fury. "Plans always go awry, Marie; you should know that…"_

_--X--_

Once the counter top was thoroughly cleaned off, it was back to baking. Or rather mixing. I'm not entirely sure how it went, actually. The afternoon was all a blur until I made the mistake of mixing up my chocolates…

_"Can you hand me that container over there?"_

"_This one?" I asked, brushing the remnants of flour off of my shirt. It still needed a good wash._

"_Yeah. I've got to add it to the batter."_

_I peeled off the top, peering curiously inside. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Marie begin to protest, rethink her position, and sigh almost imperceptibly. I smiled. I had won this round. "Cocoa?" My attention returned to the tin can clutched in my hand. "It's chocolate in powder form…how much better can you get?"_

"_Actually, that's not all that tasty…"_

"_It _**smells**_ tasty." I glanced at her suspiciously._

_Marie hesitated, something close to amusement flickering over her face. An option finally won out, a decision made. She shrugged. "I could be wrong…"_

_I blinked. What could possibly be amusing her now? I suddenly felt ignorant and vulnerable in the presence of someone who, to be quite frank, knew more about living life than I did. My specialty was apparently taking life…_

_A smile stretched her lips. "You can try it if you want. Just don't eat too much…"_

_ I hesitated, then, my eyes never leaving her face, I coated the tip of my finger cautiously in the brown powder and licked it tentatively._

_I gagged. Suddenly filled with the overpowering urge to rip my taste buds off, I leapt for the sink, allowing the water to run into my mouth directly from the faucet. I rinsed my mouth out, spit down the drain, and repeated the process several times before my reflexes calmed and allowed me to lean back against the counter, panting._

"_Why-"I tried in vain to avoid further agitating my taste buds as I spoke, "-on _**Earth**_-" Marie was thoroughly satisfied now, and her face was flushed with laughter, "-would you _**do**_ that to me?!_"

"_I-I_ **didn't**_ do it to you! Y-_**you**_ brought it on yourself!" She continued to laugh, gasping for breath. "I just can't believe you really fell for it! You _**are**_ naïve!" Marie was shaking with her attempts to stifle her mirth._

"_It's not like I can help it! I wasn't expecting that! You took _**advantage**_ of me!" I regarded her coldly, hiding the fact that my ego was slightly bruised._

"_Always expect the unexpected, Jason!" Her eyes glittered. "You should know _**that**_…"_

_--X--_

"_Well, go on! It's not like they're going to poison you."_

"_I don't know…the last time you told me to eat something I ended up with the worst taste I have ever experienced flooding my mouth…" I grimaced at the memory._

_Marie shot me a withering look. "Do you know how much sugar is in these things? The cocoa's only bad _**before** _you add sugar." She grasped the plate of cookies with one thin hand, my own hand with her other, leading me out to the porch. Charlotte immediately appeared from around the side of the house where she had been digging a cavernous hole and planted herself in clear view of the baked goods._

_I was forced to sit in the chair, a cookie placed in my hand._

"_Eat."_

_I glared up at her. "You'd think you were the ex-military one, the way you go on ordering me about…"_

"_Maybe I was," She raised an eyebrow mysteriously. "Who knows? Now, eat! It'll get cold before you know it!"_

_The sun beat down with added vigor as these last few words came out of her mouth, seemingly to spite her. "Out here?"_

_It was a valid point. But Marie's eyes narrowed and I knew she meant business. "You have thirty seconds to completely devour that cookie and ask for another. If I had a stopwatch, this is when I'd start it… unfortunately I don't. So just eat already!"_

_Turned out her quota wasn't extremely difficult to meet. I had devoured the cookie and asked for another well before the thirty-second mark, as Marie had no doubt predicted._

"_These _**are**_ good!" I grinned, complementing her around my fourth cookie. "What, are you some kind of chocolate god?"_

_She chuckled, settling into the chair beside me. "I suppose that title will suffice…"_

_I sighed. "Ultra-chocolate chocolate chip cookies beat MREs any day…"_

"_How do you know that, if you've never had these before and you can't remember MREs?" Her glance was skeptical._

"_Trust me," I grinned, "I just know. Maybe it's instinct..."_

_We were silent for a long moment, soaking in the gentle breeze and dancing sunlight._

"_That day…" Marie murmured suddenly, eliciting a surprised glance from me. "You could have left me in the apartment, moved on and forgotten all about me. It would have been so much easier for you." She turned her face to mine, dark umber locking with crystal blue. Her voice was quiet, frail, and I half feared it would be swept away by the breeze before it reached my ears. "Why didn't you?"_

_I smiled softly, knowing the answer all too well, having gone over the scenario again and again in my dreams, or as I lay awake in the darkness, always reaching the same conclusion, knowing I would never regret my decision, no matter what came of it all._

"_You had twenty thousand dollars of my money in your pocket. I wasn't about to let that fall to the police…"_

_Marie's expression was half amused and half uncertain. She had given an honest answer-she wanted one in return._

_I leaned forward, pulling her closer to me, and kissed her tenderly. When she pulled away after a few seconds, I whispered into her ear, my breath warm against her warmer skin. "I loved you, Marie…I still do. And I always will…"_

_She wrapped her arms around my neck, laughing. Charlotte cocked her head for a moment but quickly became more interested in the still fresh cookies by our side. It was fine by me if she ate them, now. They were nice, but they couldn't really compete._

_Yes, it was a beautiful day in Goa, indeed…_

(A/N: So, I hope that was satisfactory…I should have been doing other things when I wrote this, but I was disgusted with myself for not having updated, and so it turned out extra long. :D I give credit for the cookie recipe (I didn't use it in full in the story, but it got me through the chapter) to Extreme Chocolate . Com. I haven't made the cookies myself, but they look extremely tasty, and anything with chocolate tends to be savory and delicious, so I figure I'll give it a shot sometime soon…If anyone wants to make them, here's the URL: www. extreme chocolate . com /chocolatechipcookierecipe1.html. I only wish cookies could be transported via e-mail…that would make my life…:'C Oh, well. Until next time, then! (And hopefully next time is sooner than last time!)


	12. Thing Number 11: Trip

(A/N: So, _so_ sorry it took me this long to update! Argh! This wasn't supposed to happen; I was supposed to be the author who updated dependably! Oh, well…here it is, Chapter 12…which is really Thing Number 11…but you get the idea. It's the first in a 'series' sort of thing that will last several chapters, so hopefully everyone likes the premise. And thanks so much to those who have 'favorited' or reviewed! It keeps me going! Until next time, then!)

(Ahem) Now, without further ado, I present to you…

Thing Number 11: Trip

_Golden rays of light filtered through the early morning air, turning tiny particles of dust to sparkling gems and coming to rest on my sleep laden eyelids. I groaned softly and stirred, annoyed with the sun for disturbing my sleep. Lately the nightmares had receded, and now that rest came easier, I was always reluctant to let it slip away_

_My eyes fluttered open and focused blearily. I shifted my arms and in doing so realized they were wrapped tightly around Marie, who was curled against my chest with her head tucked under my chin._

_I smiled softly, pulling back a tad to prop myself up with my elbow. Her hair, dyed blonde and grown out, curled around her shoulders and face, and sleep carved her delicate features with innocence. God, she was amazing. Every time my gaze fell upon her, I couldn't help but wonder what I had possibly done right to deserve her. I loved her, and for some strange, unfathomable reason, she loved me. I was like a child who had a test returned with a higher score than he had earned; I knew I didn't deserve it, but I couldn't quite bring myself to point out the truth. I stroked her cheek, ran my fingers through her hair. God, was she ever amazing…_

_Marie stirred, roused by my touch. I watched as she blinked her dark eyes, orienting herself (something she did quickly, I noted with relief), and then turning them to mine._

"_Hey," I smiled._

"_Hey yourself." Her lips quirked up at the edges, and she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. When she opened them again they were clearer, more focused. "You're awake." She rose onto her elbow, as well, mirroring my posture._

"_Yeah," I sighed, leaning back._

_She perked up slightly, concern creeping amidst the umber of her irises. "Dream?"_

"_Naw." I glanced back at her, the smile playing on my lips once more, no faking required. "I just…woke up."_

_She laughed, the concern vanishing. "That's great! Maybe Charlotte's daytime torment has left no need for your nightmares."_

"_That's funny," I smirked, reaching up to pull her lips to mine._

_She pulled away after a minute, resting her head on my shoulder and tracing my features gently, as though she were trying to absorb me through her fingertips._

_I smiled again, curling my fingers around her wrist, and kissed her hand. "I've been thinking…"_

"_Uh, oh…" Marie tugged her hand from mine, wrapped her arms around my chest. "That can't be good…"_

_I laughed softly. "Are you so sure?"_

_She smiled wanly, glancing timidly up at me. "Whenever you're thinking…something bad is happening…"Marie shifted her gaze from mine quickly, looking anywhere and everywhere but at me._

_My own smile faded a tad at the memories and I pulled her closer to me. "Nothing bad is gonna happen, Marie," I whispered, praying I was right. "We just need to be careful…"_

_She nodded slowly, quite accustomed with that fact. Part of her wanted to pass it all off as unnecessary precautions, but she couldn't ever forget that day in Paris, at my apartment. The threat was real. She couldn't deny that._

_After a second of silence, Marie sighed, shook her head, and lifted her gaze to mine. "So, were you planning to tell me what you were thinking? Or was that just for suspense?"_

_I blinked, caught off guard for a moment, but recovered quickly and grinned. "Oh, yeah…about that. I just figured, you know, it seems the one who is always picking the 'things of the day' is _**you**_, and I-"_

_"Oh no…" she pursed her lips in a pout, realizing what was coming._

_I pressed my finger to her mouth, silencing her. "And I decided it would only be fair if _**I**_ got to pick for once." Noticing the blankness of her stare, I burst out laughing. "Oh, really! What could I possibly pick that would be so bad! It's not as though I'm going to take us to a shooting range, or anything like that…" I paused, an image of Marie struggling with a pistol forming in my mind. "Although that would be somewhat amusing…" I chuckled._

"_Too late, mister!" She glared at me, poking my arm angrily. "You've already fired a gun quite a few times, if I remember correctly!"_

_I shrugged, feigning defeat. "Yes, but it's such a shame, really…"_

_Marie laughed, throwing her hands up in submission. "All right, Jason, if you insist, you can pick our 'thing of the day.' But at least warn me so I know how to prepare myself…"_

"_Thank you," I grinned. This was the best part. "I think…"_

_She stared at me, seeming not quite sure whether to be curious or afraid._

"…_that we should go camping!"_

_--X--_

"…_and there will be bugs-who _**knows**_ how big the bugs in India are-, and there are just bound to be other people, and what if it rains? And Charlotte! Her mum doesn't come back until Friday! We can't just _**leave** _her here! It's not like we can get a sitter, either-_**we're** _her sitters!"_

"_Marie!" My voice was sharp, and I grabbed her shoulders to pull her from her pacing and stand her in front of me. "Marie, relax!" I smiled in spite of myself, her flustered face striking me as particularly humorous. "First of all, bugs are just bugs. We'll bring bug spray. Secondly, there are plenty of uninhabited islands around Goa that aren't even recorded anywhere. And thirdly-I've thought about this already-we can just bring Charlotte with us. She's a dog. Dogs love nature!"_

_Marie regarded me silently for a minute, uncertainty shining through her dark eyes. "Bring her with us?"_

"_Yeah, why not? It'll be fine, trust me!"_

_She sighed, her gaze dropping to the floor as she pulled herself from my grasp and flopped onto the couch. "You're normally the paranoid one. Why am I the only one worrying about this?"_

_I sighed, sitting next to her. "That's probably my fault…normally I'm paranoid enough for both of us, huh?" I shot her a glance, noticed no change in her posture. I forged on regardless. "I'm sure this has some sort of psychological explanation. Now that I'm not worried, you feel like you need to be…but if _**I'm**_ not freaking out, then you certainly shouldn't! It'll be perfectly fine, I swear."_

_Her eyes found mine for a split-second before she sagged against me, wrapping her arms tightly about my torso and burying her face in my shoulder. "I don't want to lose you, Jason…"_

_I returned her embrace, sighing. "I know. I don't want to lose you, either, Marie. But I promise we'll be okay. Trust me on this one. Please. Can you do that?"_

_She nodded stiffly, holding me tighter. We stayed silent like that for several minutes, neither wanting to let the other go. Marie eventually pulled a way a tad, lifting her gaze to mine, and I noticed that her eyes were glittering with tears. Instead of crying, though, she smiled. "Jason…you only addressed three of my worries. You forgot the rain."_

_I couldn't help the smile that curled my own lips. "Oh, right….about that. Well, you know how camping is…."_

"_How?"_

_I kissed her teasingly, retreating from her embrace as I rose from the couch. "Truthfully? It probably _**will** _rain…"_

Frankly, as I look back on that day, I realize it's a miracle I still got her to go…


	13. Thing Number 12: Rowing a Boat

**(A/N: Right. Sorry it took so long. But note that it was not a month until I updated. I made it with 39 minutes to spare. Phew! This chapter starts off sort of fluffy, then gets darker, so be prepared. Later!)**

Thing Number 12: Rowing a boat

_The summer sun was climbing ever higher into the turquoise cloth of the sky, showering the world below it with blinding light and relentless heat. It hadn't rained in a few days, unusual for June, and I was starting to miss the relief from the summer temperatures. Around me, restless waters roamed for miles, bejeweled by the sun and stealing their blue glow from the skies above. I paused for a moment in my rowing to readjust the baseball cap pulled firmly over my eyes and bat pricks of sweat from the flushed skin of my face and neck before returning to my work with forced resolve. The steady sloshing of water over my oars was the only sound that permeated the dull silence that had fallen over the little rowboat._

_Marie was slouched between the wooden seats, staring up at the cloudless sky as her head rested on the edge of the boat, humming to herself almost inaudibly. I couldn't place the tune, but knowing Marie I likely wouldn't have been familiar with it even if I'd had a functioning knowledge of the music world._

_Charlotte, curled in the bow of the wooden wreck, lifted her head from her crisp white paws, glanced in either direction, regarded Marie and me uninterestedly for a moment, yawned, and, evidently deciding there had been no significant change in the universe since her last awakening, proceeded to return to sleep._

"_I've got it!" Marie's head shot up all of a sudden, her gleaming brown eyes meeting mine. "We could have a pirate jokes contest! I mean with the boat and all, it's only befitting."_

_I paused for a moment. "First of all, you must be more bored than I thought to have come up with that," I shook my head, wishing it weren't so humid, worrying for a moment that Marie was losing her sanity due to sunstroke of some sort, " and second, I don't even know any pirate jokes. I don't know any jokes."_

_She pursed her lips in a pout, staring out at the endless waters. "Hmmm…" The gentle waves of her light hair were almost blinding in the sunlight and beautifully offset her crimson-touched complexion. "I guess that's true…" she mumbled, then returned her gaze to mine. "But I could tell you one! That'd still be fun! In a way…"_

_I laughed, shrugging as I continued to pull the oars through the shimmering waters. "Alright. Shoot."_

"_Right." Marie smiled, tilting her head back and sifting through her memory for something she could use. I was struck by an odd pang of envy at the fact that she had a memory to shift through._

"'_Kay, here's a good one! Although they're all seem to have an excruciating lack of quality…" She cleared her throat, making her delivery as dramatically ridiculous as possible. "What," she paused here for affect, "is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?"_

_I stared at her, considering. "Arrrrr?" I raised an eyebrow, offering a lopsided smile._

_Her glare was glacial in return. "I thought you didn't know any of these…"_

"_I don't." I grinned. "I just possess the wonderful gift of reasoning."_

"_Yeah," she muttered, scowling and slouching farther down into the boat, her own hat throwing her eyes and the bridge of her nose into sulky shadows. "Next time I'll remember to save my jokes for someone who lacks that lovely gift."_

_I laughed again. "I'm sorry, Marie."_

_She shot me a glance, a smile playing reluctantly on her own lips. "That's all right. It's not your fault you're no fun."_

"_No fun, eh? That's harsh…"_

"You're tough; you'll survive." She yawned, stretching her arms over her head. "How come we had to take this stupid ol' thing, anyways? It's so slow!"

"_It was this or swim," I remarked, glancing at the warped wood. "Besides, _**dear**_, I don't really think you have the right to be complaining-I'm the one doing the work. You're just sitting there."_

_Marie lifted her chin, smiling superiorly. "I'm the creative drive behind the operation. But I'm weak." She pulled her knees to her chest, sighing to emphasize her point. "It can't be helped…"_

"_Uh-huh." I rolled my eyes, grinning. "Just watch those facetious comments-it's not too late yet to swim…" _

_--X--_

"_Land HO!"_

"_Really?" I perked up, leaning to one side to try and see around Marie, who was sitting up directly in front of me. She noticed my plight and moved aside, and I could see that she was, in fact, right._

_Nothing but a large grey-green blotch against the endless blues from this distance, the island was at least visible, and steadily taking shape as our boat grew closer. A few trees were individually outlined against the solid sky that served as a pristine background, and the waves that licked at the sides of our row boat seemed to be drawing us eagerly towards the island._

"_Wow…" Marie breathed, never failing to find wonder in things I would otherwise find simple and insignificant._

"_Finally excited?" I raised one eyebrow, simultaneously teasing and relieved._

_She turned to me, genuine joy lighting her chocolaty eyes, and nodded. "Yeah! Although I must admit I doubted whether we were ever going to see land again for a while back there…"_

_I grinned, laughing. "What, you didn't have faith in my island finding abilities?"_

"_I don't know…" Marie shrugged, a jesting smile playing on her lips. "Something about you and water, I guess…"_

"_Right…" I chuckled, yet was unable to ignore the pang I felt at her comment. I knew it shouldn't have bothered me, but for an odd reason it unearthed dark feelings that I had been trying to shove aside. I had done things in my past, horrible things, things I couldn't even remember to redeem myself from. I had caused so much hurt, so many lies, and I couldn't even _**remember**_. So, desperate as it was, I couldn't help but wonder whether everything would have been better off if that fishing boat had never found me, if the brooding waters of the sea had just swallowed me that night, burying my terrifying past and taking all the pain and deceit with it._

"_Jason? Are you all right?"_

_I glanced up sharply, the concern in Marie's voice snapping me out of my reverie, and offered her a sheepish smile. "Y-yeah. I'm fine."_

_The skepticism painted across her face told me she didn't believe me, but she was silent for a moment, didn't protest. Finally, simply, her voice quiet but sincere, "you worry me, Jason."_

_I searched her eyes for a moment, quietly hating myself for having ignored that fact on many occasions, then averted my gaze lest she read anything unwanted from it. "I know." I focused on rowing, wondering why eloquence around people couldn't have been included in my frightening repertoire of skills. "And I'm sorry for that…"_

_Marie made no response to even indicate she had heard me, and I figured she must have been angry again. For a while the cramped boat forged on in pensive silence, each occupant lost in his own world of thoughts. _

_I hated it, hated the fact that as long as Marie was with me, she couldn't have a normal life. I hated that I couldn't provide her with everything she needed and deserved, hated that she was being subjected to an existence of running, of hiding, of always looking over one's shoulder but never truly looking back. We had to keep moving, always ahead, and there wasn't the time to linger in the past or truly enjoy the present. We were in danger, _**I **_had put us in peril, and it wasn't fair to Marie. And I absolutely hated that I couldn't do a thing about it. I had to live this way-I had no other choice. I only wished that I didn't have to drag Marie down with me…_

"_I don't care," she muttered suddenly, breaking the silence and shattering my seething thoughts._

"_What?" I stared at her._

_Marie glanced up, surprise flickering across her face. Clearly she hadn't meant to say that out loud, but after a moment of consideration the surprise vanished and she shrugged, certainty settling over her. "I don't care," she said firmly._

"_Don't…care about what?"_

_Marie looked first at me, then down at her hands folded in her lap. "Well…just all of it…" Seeing my puzzled expression, she shrugged again and shook her head, struggling with how to clarify. "I-I mean, with you not able to remember your past, and these people chasing us, and having to move around all the time and lay low, I…I don't care, you know?" Her eyes found mine again and I realized I had been holding my breath, had stopped rowing._

_I blinked._

_"I don't care what they say you were, I don't care what we have to do, I don't care what will happen tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after _**that****.**_ All I care about is you, who you are _**now**_, and that we're together. I know it might be stupid, but that's the way it is. I knew it would be a risk, and from the moment I met you I knew my life would never be the same again…"_

_I flinched, staring at the curving patterns of the wood, feeling guilt rush up from my thoughts to fill reality._

_"…I just never imagined it'd be _**this**_ good."_

_My breath caught in my throat and for a moment I couldn't move, couldn't breathe couldn't think. '**Good?**' Had I heard her right? Was I dreaming? Had I lost my mind? Had **she** lost **her** mind? I lifted my eyes to hers, stunned. Somehow she'd managed to read my thoughts and answer my prayers all in one swing. I eventually remembered how to speak. "Y-you're…kidding…" I whispered hoarsely, not taking my eyes off her._

_She shook her head, smiling gingerly._

_"I-I thought…but-but this life, there's no **way**…you can't possibly **enjoy** this! I…"_

_She shook her head once more, putting her hand up to silence me. "I love you, Jason. We love each other, remember? And as long as I have you, I have everything I could ever need or want. That's all_ **I** _care about."_

_I forgot how to breathe all over again, and I couldn't quite make up my mind whether to laugh or cry, so I hovered somewhere in between._

_Marie laughed at my loss for a response and leaned in close to me, pulling my lips to hers. I forgot all about rowing and the oars for a moment, my hands stroking her hair and face._

_After what could have been an eternity but was likely only a minute, Marie pulled away and flopped back into her original place in the boat, leaving me feeling suddenly cold despite the burning sun._

_"Right," she yawned, as if the last few minutes had never happened, "we should get back to rowing. I think I'm gonna be sick if I can't get back on solid ground soon!"_

_I sighed, irked, grabbing the oars again and rowing as defiantly slowly as I possibly could. "**We** should get back to rowing…" I muttered, shooting her a look. "You're really something, you know that, Marie?"_

_She just settled her head back on the edge of the boat and closed her eyes, smiling up at the impossibly blue skies._

_--X--_

_"We're almost there! We're almost at the island!"_

_I glanced up, smirking. "It would appear so, yes."_

_Marie shifted to her knees, clearly anticipating a surface that didn't constantly rock unsteadily beneath her feet with excitement. "This has to be the most exciting moment of my entire life!" She shot me a look. "And that's really something, considering your driving habits…"_

_I rolled my eyes, and started to laugh, but my attention was jerked abruptly back to Marie when I noticed what she was preparing to do. Clearly her excitement over the land was impairing her good judgment, because if I was right about her intentions-_

**"****No, Marie, don't-!"**

_The water greedily consumed the rest of my sentence. I never really had a chance. It rushed into my mouth and nose, choked me in my surprise. It stung my eyes and burned my throat, and I tried to cough, swallowing a sickening mouthful of the stuff in the process._

_I realized dimly I shouldn't be having so much trouble, but my lovely swim had caught me off guard, and even as I thought of only air and fought wildly for the surface, colorful, blurred fragments of the past were slicing their painfully way across my mind. The water surrounding me lent a surreal quality to my memories._

_I blinked desperately, frightening images flickering before my hazy vision. I felt as though I was paralyzed, not able to move or think, overwhelmed by the remembrance washing over me more forcefully than the ocean's waves. The sparkling waters that enveloped me were growing murkier, cooler, and I was suddenly standing on land, no longer struggling for breath but observing an unfolding with eerie indifference…_

_There were bodies in the dark, swirling waters of the river. Faces…I knew them. Overhead was the roar of an engine, the sound growing more distant but no less deafening. I cast my gaze about restlessly, somehow in a separate world from the one I had occupied a moment before. What on earth was going on? How did this relate to me?_

_I stepped close to the chaos mounting before me, surprised to find I could actually move without feeling the restraints of the water. A small crowd, if it could be called that, had gathered on the riverbank. There was some hushed discourse, a few wails of disbelief, but mostly there was shocked silence._

_Until one man broke it. A shout rose above the rest as a pair of shoes tore up the path leading to the river. A sort of choked gasp as the man tripped, not caring, far beyond terror, picked himself up and kept running, blindly, kept on shouting._

_The little swarm of people erupted in a frenzy, as if the man's presence had somehow cued their realization. Men raced up the banks, cried out for help, women sobbed and clung fearfully to their children, chaos and confusion seemed to set everything ablaze._

_I was baffled. And, suddenly, though I had no idea why, I was terrified._

_The man's shouts had built to a scream, he had reached the river and thrown himself into its dirty waters, wading out to the bodies, grabbing them, tears streaking his face, pulling them to his chest, shaking with sobs, disbelief, a single, drawn out syllable tearing from his throat._

**_"Nnnnoooooo!"_**

_It was a cry so excruciating, so heart shattering, so full of grief unimaginable to most, so saturated with a rage that could have rendered the most destructive weapon powerless, that it was indescribably painful to hear._

_And I was both astonished and horrified to find that I was screaming with him._

_My vision was blurring, I felt hot tears dripping down my own cheeks almost painfully, and I couldn't stop screaming. Suddenly I understood. I could no longer see what was happening, but somehow I knew it all. I knew it _**all. **

_I took a trembling step forward, then another, before my knees gave out completely and I found myself on my knees, I was sobbing uncontrollably, gasping and shouting, feeling as though the watery grief had flooded my lungs and was choking the life out of me._

_I knew the faces. I knew the man. His face was turned away and I wouldn't have been able to see him even if he were right in front of me, but I knew every inch of it, every feature, every flaw. I knew his dark hair and I knew his eyes, eyes clouded with grief, so dull, so painfully gray at this moment, but so shockingly blue at others._

_They were my eyes._

_I gasped as the air hit my skin, instantly regretting my attempts to breathe underwater as I gagged on the salt water and coughed violently, struggling to keep my head above water and forcing the oxygen I so needed into my lungs. I gulped at the sweet, hot air, pain skittering through my skull, behind my eyes, throbbing at my temples and threatening to shut down my mind._

_"No," I moaned, my chest still heaving, glancing around wildly for something-anything-to help me._

_A boat, upturned, floating a few feet away. Oh, gosh, the boat! **Marie! **Where was she? What had happened?_

_"Jason!"_

_I whipped my head around, regretting it as my headache seared up. I ignored the pain. Her voice, far away…yet not too far. Where **was** she, darn it?_

_"Jason! Over **here!**"_

_My eyes searched the waters madly, then-there! I spotted her a few yards away, standing…on a beach. The island!_

_I pushed my body forward, through the water. I was suddenly exhausted, it was all I could do to close the few yards keeping me from dry land and drag myself up onto the sandy ground. I remained on my hands and knees, panting, fighting the aching that threatened to overpower me._

_"Jason! My God! I thought-I couldn't find you, and-oh, God, Jason!" She fell to her knees beside me, taking my face in her hands, terrified. "Are you okay? Jason!"_

_I gave her a wan, breathless smile. "I'm…fine," I rasped, my mouth strangely dry and my vision splotchy._

_"You don't look fine! I was so **worried**! What **happened****,** Jason?"_

_I glanced at her, struggling to breathe, feeling consciousness slipping through my fingers. "I-I don't know," I whispered hoarsely. "I…I can't…remember…" but as soon as the word left my mouth, the dull ache in my head shot forward with renewed energy and my new-found memories came flooding back in an overwhelming deluge. I screwed my eyes shut in pain and groaned. "Oh, God…"_

_A million sounds filled my ears: children laughing, someone crying, hushed voices, shouts of joy. Marie's concerned cry was lost in the mix, but one sound stood out._

_It was a scream that accompanied me into the blackness…_


	14. Thing Number 13: Stargazing

**Jeezum Crow! (To utilize a new phrase I've learned through my theatrical exploits :D) It has officially been too long since I've updated this story, and I sincerely apologize to anyone and everyone who cares. When I started thinking, 'hey, remember that old fan fiction...?' I knew it was time to finish a chapter. So here it is! Finally!...Well...that's about it, I guess. Enjoy! And happy Thanksgiving, to those for whom it applies!**

Thing Number 13: Stargazing

_The pungent scent of wood smoke burned in my nostrils, creeping tauntingly through the layers of my feverish slumber, grabbing hold of me to tug me closer to consciousness and the inevitable._

_I gradually regained a vague sense of my state and surroundings,_ _heard the apathetic crackling of a fire nearby, felt the heat it threw off dancing on the skin of my face and arms. The fabric of my clothes was stiff, and slightly damp, as though they'd been soaked and dried back off quickly._

_There was a dull ache in my limbs, and fatigue pinned me to the ground, but my head was by far the worst. Sharp pain throbbed at my temples and if I so much as attempted to think past the current moment in time, I was rewarded with a searing nothingness where my memories should have been._

_I gave up the fight and cracked one eye, not entirely surprised that I couldn't make out anything but fuzzy shapes and flickers of light. I moaned softly, re-closing the eye and struggling to focus my mind before carefully squinting up into the now clearer night sky. _

_Turning my head a bit, I noted that I had, in fact, been right; a fire hissed and popped at me from a few feet cross the sandy ground. Stars twinkled cheerfully in the cloudless ebony skies overhead, and the gentle whisper of waves licking at a shore under the moonlight saturated the darkness._

_I raised myself tentatively to my elbows, and lifted my head to get a better look around, but the headache that seared through my skull forced me quickly back onto the sand. I groaned, grating my teeth against the hot pain, and was desperately wishing that the fire wasn't so darn hot when something startlingly cold and moist was draped gently across my forehead, chasing away the infuriating heat and pain._

_A gasp escaped my lips at the sudden sensations and my eyes flew open to stare into a pair of comfortingly familiar brown ones. "M-Marie! What-? I-I can't…did you…?" I suddenly couldn't articulate the questions swimming through my mind; my efforts only served to further irritate my already sore throat and send me into a fit of coughing. The rushes of pain at my temples became almost unbearable as my lungs fought violently to rid themselves of…seawater?_

"_Shhh," she soothed, holding the cloth to my head with one hand, the other resting lightly on my chest. "You're all right." Marie's voice was calm, even. Reassuring. So vastly different from the panicked tone I'd heard from her in Paris that night we discovered I was an assassin. Nothing like the worried wreck she'd been when I had suggested we go camping. A world away from her terror when she thought I had…had drowned. Earlier…that afternoon!_

_I suppressed a cough, managing to bring my breathing back to normal, and focused on the relief that the chill of the damp cloth was bringing to my head. I had to concentrate!_

"_What…happened?" _

"_You don't remember?" Marie's gaze was even, masking the concern she felt and her genuine dread of my answer._

"_I…" my voice faltered, but I cleared my throat, ignored the pain, tried again. "I feel like… there's something that I should know…it-it's right _**there**_, but I just can't…"I made no second attempt to bring my voice back and instead shook my head helplessly, feeling utterly lost._

_Marie closed her eyes briefly, withdrew her hand and sat back on her heels. She bit her lip, apparently unsure how to proceed. "You…remember this morning? The trip, the boat?"_

_I nodded in response. "I remember all that…I remember being close to the island, but then-after that, it's all fuzzy."_

_Marie smiled minutely, a gesture that was as remorseful as it was quietly amused. "Well…you're right, we were close to the island, and I was excited, so I-well, I sort of stood up too quickly, and…"_

_A smile played on my own lips. "And the boat tipped over."_

_Marie laughed uncomfortably; we were both still too close to the event to be able to laugh with no regret and banish the worry that had gone along with it. "Yeah. After that, all _I_ know is that I came up in the middle of all our supplies, and Charlotte had somehow managed to swim to the shore, where she was barking like a maniac! But you-" she paused, taking a quick breath, "you were nowhere to be found. I couldn't see you, I didn't hear anything-God, Jason, I was so scared…"_

_"Shhh…" I reached up to stroke her cheek with my thumb-was surprised to find it wet with tears. "But I'm all right," I murmured; "you don't have to worry anymore."_

_Marie nodded and dropped her head, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. The past months of running and hiding had been tough for her, I knew-today's events coupled with her existing anxieties had simply been too much for her to bear all at once._

"_Hey," I whispered, patting the sand beside me and shifting a bit to the side. Marie hesitated a moment before stretching out on the grounds and resting her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, tucking her head under my chin._

_We stayed like that for some time, simply holding each other, listening to each other's heart beats as the fire slowly died away, leaving only the stars to illuminate the beach._

"_Earlier…" Marie's voice startled me after the virtual silence and I glanced down at her._

"_Yes?"_

"_Wh-when you…" she searched for the right words, "were underwater…what happened?"_

_I sighed, stared back up at the twinkling skies. The images were settling now, the pain receding as the waves of the ocean, but though I had the faces and feelings I couldn't quite put together all the pieces in consciousness as well as I had earlier._

_When I finally answered her, my voice was soft, remorseful. "Frankly, I'm not quite sure myself…" I closed my eyes, shaking my head imperceptibly, "I remember a river-there were bodies, people I…knew…"_

"_People you…killed?" Marie's voice was barely above a whisper; she was curious, but at the same time she was afraid of the answer to her question._

"_No." I opened my eyes to look into hers. "No," I said again, emphasizing the point maybe a little too carefully. "I…I think they were…important to me. I'm just not sure…how."_

_We were silent again, Marie deciding not to prod me, for which I was thankful. If I remembered anything important I'd tell her everything I could, and she was well aware of that fact. So for now she was content to simply be quiet a minute, an hour-the stresses of our life would come later._

_I pointed at the stars above me, seeking to dispel any tension between us. "Look-Virgo, right?"_

_Marie glanced up at me, surprised. "Yeah…how did you know?"_

_I chuckled. "I'm not sure…it's the only one I remember, oddly enough…"_

_Marie laughed too, lifting her eyes back to the skies. "There's Hydra…oh! _There's_ one you should know!"_

_My gaze followed her finger in the direction she pointed. I grinned. "The Big Dipper…All right, so there are _two_ constellations I know!"_

_Marie closed her eyes, sighed contentedly; we lay silent once more. I listened to her soft respirations as they grew gradually even, her heartbeat slowing to match mine. I suddenly found it extremely difficult to keep my eyes open; the combined warmth from the dying embers of the fire and Marie's body pressed against mine was making me drowsy. Sensations filtered through my exhausted mind-faces, colors, sounds, everything a blur. The idea of putting them all together, scrounging some sort of order from the mess that was my memory seemed daunting to me at the moment. I sighed, letting my heavy eyelids drift shut. There would be time later, I assured myself. I would always have time to struggle with the truth._

_But I wouldn't always have this moment._

_I wasn't stupid; there are some things one never forgets how to appreciate. This night was one of them, and as consciousness ebbed from my mind for the umpteenth time that day, I committed the feelings coursing through me to memory, knowing I'd likely need them as much in the coming years as I'd need the training that clung to my mind from my former life._

_Right now, though, neither future nor past mattered. I had found peace, if only for a moment, and I wasn't about to lose it to Jason Bourne's need for control._

_The island was still, and the stars shimmered ever bright in the heavens._


	15. Thing Number 14: Making S'mores

**A/N: Back again! It's been a while, I know. But it doesn't feel like it! Time sure does fly when it's crawling by...At any rate, I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's fairly short, yes, but I like it. It's nice and fluffy to make up for the lack of fluffiness to come later. I know _I_ always wondered what would happen if Jason Bourne made s'mores. If anyone has any other ideas for things of the day, I'd be glad to hear them! I have one or two requests that I'll be working on after the camping series is finished. But I'll end this author note now, before it becomes longer than the chapter itself! Au revoir!**

**Thing Number 14: Making S'mores**

"_What if I set it on fire?"_

_Marie glanced up from trying to rip open the wrapper of a chocolate bar. "What do you mean, 'what if I set it on fire?'"_

_I frowned. "I _**mean**_ what am I supposed to do with a flaming, blackened, crumbling marshmallow?"_

_Marie's look was condescending, as though I were nothing but a child, overreacting to unimportant details. "You could eat it. Provided it's not flaming anymore."_

"_That'd be like eating charcoal! What kind of positive, enlightening experience is that?"_

_Marie sighed and shook her head, feigning annoyance as she tried to hide the smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "You wouldn't eat it like _that_. You'd peel the black part off first. Or give it to the dog, I don't care." Charlotte perked up at the mention of her name, eager for any treats either of us may have given her. "Besides," Marie added, snapping the candy bar in half, "aren't _you_ the one with superhuman perception and reflexes? What are the chances of something setting on fire without your consent?"_

_I stared back at her for a moment before bursting into laughter. "_**My**_ consent? Following that logic, I'd have to be responsible for every fire that was ever started during my lifetime!" I rested my marshmallow-roasting fork on a rock that surrounded the makeshift bonfire pit, trying in vain to dust the sand from my sticky hands._

_Marie shot me a sideways glance, her voice changing eerily. "How should I know what you do in your spare time, Jason?" Her gaze flicked to the restless waves tumbling against the beach. "I wouldn't put anything past you…"_

_I broke down again, Marie's mocking inexplicably able to strike me in a way nothing else could. Some little data feed in the back of my mind pointed out that I'd never laughed as much throughout the majority of my life as I had in these past few months with Marie. It was a fact I could appreciate, as I gave up my fight against the sand and leaned over to pull Marie's lips to mine. She had brought so much to my life. Heck, it was she who brought me a life of any _sort_ after I'd lost all trace of one in the Mediterranean Sea._

_I didn't deserve it. I couldn't deserve her._

_"Jasonnn," she groaned, pulling away from me after a moment, "I'm trying to educate you in the ways of the common-folk! This is important! And believe me when I tell you that you won't learn anything new if you keep that up!"_

_I smirked. "Got that right. Been there, done that."_

"_Honestly, Jason! For an assassin you sure are immature!" She scowled, throwing herself back onto he sand and sighing in defeat._

_Grinning, I followed suit, letting the crackling fire and whispering ocean soothe my mind. "Well. Since when have males been advertised as 'mature?'"_

_Marie stared at me wistfully, as melodramatic as ever. "A girl can dream, can't she?"_

_I chuckled, my hand finding hers as the marshmallows roasted without setting on fire. "I suppose she can," I murmured. "Everyone's allowed to dream…"_

"_Even you," Marie whispered matter-of-factly, understanding the implications of my statement and striving to reassure me on this point._

_I smiled, pressing my lips to her forehead tenderly before pulling her back up to a sitting position and reaching for the marshmallows. "That's a comforting thought," I teased, even though I _was_ somehow comforted by the knowledge. "But right now all I'm dreaming of is getting these s'mores finished so that I can finish my training as a commoner!"_

_Marie grinned, snatching the marshmallow fork from my hand. "Patience, young Padawan. If you demand too much of me, you'll end up on the dark side of the force!"_

"_A little late for that, Marie!" We both laughed, enjoying our s'mores more than should have been humanly possible. Something about Marie being with me transformed chocolate and marshmallow and graham cracker into an experience that I couldn't readily describe._

_I was right; I really _**didn't**_deserve her._

_But that sure as heck didn't mean I was going to give her up…_

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**See that review button there? Go ahead and click on it. Don't be afraid, really. It never hurt anyone. :)**_  
_


	16. Thing Number 15: Gathering Flowers

**A/N: Does anyone know what I am going to say? I'm willing to bet it's obvious, even though you can't see the shame on my face. 'It has been too long,' I say. 'Too long!' And for that I apologize. But I thank each and every one of you who has read or reviewed this story thus far, and I am determined someday to finish it, even if that day only comes when I am thirty-five. Thank you especially to lisa reisert, Sophik, all the many Maelwys, mellifluously, GreenCat3, and Euterpe's Bard for your reviews. They nagged at me in the back of my mind until I finally updated. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**(And yes, I shamelessly stole a line from Kurt Vonnegut in this chapter. I'm sorry, Mr. Vonnegut. I hope you don't mind terribly.)**

* * *

_I'm dreaming again. I know I am, but I can't do a thing about it._

_"Darling…" she looks at me, and all I can see are her eyes, dark, expansive, gentle. Her gaze isn't accusatory. There isn't any anger in those eyes, none at all. Only a melancholy sort of acceptance and a question: "Darling, why did you do it?"_

_It's always the same, has been the same since the day a little less than a week ago that I nearly drowned myself a few hundred yards from a sunny island in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes I ask her what she means, what act she's referring to. But I don't this time, and it's just as well, because she never answers anyhow. Just looks at me, because she knows she doesn't need to clarify. I'm not quite sure what I did, but I'm always sure of the answer to her question._

_The words come, and I say them: "For you. For _**them**_." Her eyes grow sadder somehow, at that; they are laced with guilt._

**Madness!**

"_Are you so certain?" The concern is voiced softly, but I wince at its implications._

"_Of course I am! It was for you! Always for _**you**_!" My voice is louder than it needs to be, than I meant it to be, and I'm not quite sure anymore whom it is I'm trying to convince._

_Her eyes leave me a thousand messages: ' darling…we loved you…we haven't _stopped _loving you…If you had truly been acting on our behalf, you wouldn't have condemned yourself to misery.' But the only words she actually voices as she slowly shakes her head are these: "It was never for anyone but yourself..."_

I woke with the pain, bolting upright to sit as my head throbbed and the world decided to waltz dangerously before my eyes. My breath flowed in gasps to pool in my lungs nauseatingly, and there was a tremor in my arms that I couldn't control. The liquid sky above me was still dotted with stars, but growing ever lighter as the morning light crept quietly in to chase away the world's nightmares.

I was afraid to glance over at where Marie was curled in her sleeping bag, afraid to see that I had ruined more than just the peace and quiet yet again. I could feel her gaze as tangibly as the pricks of sweat on my skin, and I knew the question wasn't far behind.

"Another nightmare?"

I cleared my throat, nodded in response.

She was quiet for a moment. "Do you think it's the same one?"

I hesitated, swallowed hard in an attempt to force the lump in my throat away. "I'm…not sure. I just can't hang on to it for some reason…" I let my voice trail off, and the lie hurt so much more than my headache.

Marie didn't reply, and I risked my first glance at her, but she turned her head away, stood up. She sensed that something was wrong, but she knew better than to ask. I reminded myself tepidly that it was better this way. I had done enough to her already.

I wasn't convinced.

"I have an idea," Marie forced a smile, brushing sand from her sleeping bag. "Why don't you take a walk and _I'll_ start packing things up? You could use a break."

I wiped a hand over my brow. It was getting muggy already. "I can't let you do that. It wouldn't be very chivalrous of me…"

She waved away my concern, and I knew her suggestion was less about my needing a break than her needing me to leave her alone. The lump in my throat returned with a vengeance. "Go. I'll be fine. And Charlotte will keep me company, won't you, Charlotte?"

The dog remained curled in a tight ball on the sand, obstinately ignoring the world.

Marie shrugged.

"All right," I murmured. "I'll be back in a little to help." It was our last morning on the island, and we were planning on leaving in the early afternoon. I was also planning on avoiding another boating catastrophe, if at all possible.

But Marie had already turned her back to me, was busy rolling our sleeping bags into tight little curls that reminded me of snails and the pain in my stomach, so I reluctantly left her and set off into the brush.

I climbed the path Marie and I had discovered and hiked a few days earlier, not in the mood to stay out on the beach where the sun would burn my eyes and illuminate my fears. I felt less on edge beneath the canopy of shimmering leaves, where the only sunlight to be found dribbled splotchily over the dirt and my skin, as though playing hide-and-go-seek with the shadows.

Branches arched gracefully overhead and birds fluttered cheerfully just out of reach as I forged deeper into the forest. One tiny bird landed on a gnarled limb close to my head and spoke matter-of-factly to me, its musical proclamation bittersweet:

"_Poo-tee-weet?"_

After a good fifteen minutes of walking, I reached a clearing in the brush through which ran a rather indecisive stream. It meandered this way and that amongst the trees, until it finally dropped mischievously out of sight. I lowered myself to a rock beside it, rubbing the back of my neck listlessly. A mosquito droned past my ear and I swatted it away without conviction.

The bird's question echoed in my mind as I considered my reflection in the eddies of the river. The swirls of water distorted the image, made it shimmer and dance elusively. That was just as well, because if my likeness had been clear I would have been tempted to attack the river in lieu of myself.

Blue eyes flickered into clarity for just a moment and I was struck with the memory I had unearthed beneath the ocean's surface. Suddenly the man who shared my eyes and presumably so much more was there, up to his waist in muddy water and grief, demanding that I remember, threatening to tear me apart.

I let out the feral roar that I had held back in Marie's presence and threw myself from the rock, stamping out the despised eyes with the most passion I had mustered all day. My sneakers stirred up clouds of dirt that sailed swiftly away on the current, and the violence that had so suddenly consumed me followed behind it, leaving me to slump to the ground, trying desperately to control the sobs that crashed against me without invitation.

I buried my face in my hands and cried as the image of bullet-ridden bodies filled my mind. I could hear a little girl's voice cooing about her older brother, who feigned a nonchalance that couldn't mask his own fondness. I caught glimpses of dark eyes and pigtails and dusty paths filled with such life that they betrayed the finality of the empty forms. But above all was the question, the question that I had answered so horribly wrong:

"_Why?"

* * *

_

The sun had risen high above the beach when I marched back to our campsite. The white sand sizzled quietly, but the blue flowers clutched in my hand blazed brighter. Marie was sitting on a log by the fire pit, jabbing at the ashes with a twig, her mouth set in a line and her face blank, but she stood when she noticed my approach. She gave me a sheepish look, as though she supposed she had some reason to feel guilty.

"Jason, I…I'm sor-"

I ignored her attempted apology, not ceasing in my march until I stood in front of her and had pulled her tightly into my arms.

"Jason?" Marie whispered, uncertain.

"I love you," I murmured, my cheek pressed to hers, praying she couldn't feel the tears. "I love you so much, Marie!" _'I'm sorry I can't tell you about them; I'm sorry you can never know; I'm sorry I've hurt you like this, that I'll hurt you again because I can't help what I am, can't change what I've done. I'm so sorry…please forgive me.' _"I love you…"

Marie stayed frozen for an excruciating moment, but she quickly recovered from her surprise and wrapped her arms around me, returning my embrace. We held each other silently for a long time, plans of departure and urgency forgotten, willing reality to simply vanish.

When I finally pulled away, I found that I couldn't meet Marie's eyes. I held out the haphazard bunch of flowers instead, a pathetic, miserable peace offering. "These…are for you," I muttered, the statement laughably superfluous.

She took them from me, smiling gently. Somehow her hands made the blue blossoms seem gorgeous.

"Jason…these are Forget-Me-Nots."

"What?" I glanced wildly at them, horrified. "_No!_ I didn't-they were just-! I never meant-Marie, I would never-!"

Marie tossed the flowers onto the log took my face in her hands. "Calm down, Jason. I understand; they're beautiful." She paused, searching my eyes for something, apparently making an important decision. "Besides," she murmured softly, "'how could I forget about you? You're the only person I really know.'"

I swallowed, felt my face burn and tears sting my eyes once more. But this time the tears weren't born out of hopelessness and despair. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. "Yeah," I answered hoarsely. "Yeah; that's true."

Marie grinned, kissed me deeply, her hands in my hair. I kissed her back, aware that I had been forgiven by some freakish miracle, desperate to never let the moment end. Finally Marie broke the kiss, rested her forehead against mine as she stared into my eyes, evidently finding nothing in them to hate or flinch away from.

"I love you, too, Jason Bourne."


End file.
